2025 TV Shows I Missed That I Wish I Had Seen Before Compiling This List: Heated Rivalry,Carême, El jardinero, Deli Boys, It: Welcome to Derry, Adults
2025 TV Shows I Missed, Don't Regret Missing, and Will Go Out of My Way to Continue Missing Until the End of Linear Time: Motorheads, Boston Blue, Sheriff Country, any of those new MCU shows
Top Ten Episodes of 2025
#10 "Pot O' Gold" The Bondsman
The rest of the series didn't quite live up to the promise of the premiere, but it's still a hell of a lot of fun. Quite literally. This introduction to the story of Kevin Bacon taking a gig as an undead demon hunter has some solid gore and the cast (which includes Sugarland's Jennifer Nettles and 100 Bloody Acres' Damon Herriman) really clicks.
#9 "#JoeGoldberg" You
Any show making its final season is going to want a bit of a victory lap, and this delightfully chaotic episode found a fun way to organically bring back a lot of familiar faces without banging you over the head with nostalgia.
#8 "F Is For Fuck-Up" Dexter: Original Sin
This episode is a hell of a lot of fun! They totally nail a trope that is almost impossible to pull off well: a comedic moment where a normally square character gets high. Plus the dynamic between Dexter and his father really shines, and Molly Brown gets to deliver her first great performance moment as Debra.
I will eternally curse corporate mergers for many reasons, but a big one is the fact that a post-Skydance Paramount+ summarily cancelled this show after renewing it for season 2.
#7 "Apple to Apples" And Just Like That
This episode is a lot, but it really stands out in a season where "not enough" would be a generous description of its contents. Carrie witnessing a family meltdown at a troubled teenager's birthday party is both surprisingly realistic and exhilaratingly tense.
#6 "Ghost Who's Coming to Dinner" School Spirits
Somehow, this is the first episode of the series where all the core teenage characters (ghosts and non-ghosts alike) are gathered in the same place. Exploring that dynamic was a blast, and the scenes outside of that moment were similarly lively.
#5 "Headhunting" What We Do in the Shadows
I find the "Cravensworth's Monster" material in this season to be absolutely useless, so those parts of the episode are a bit of a wash. But watching Nandor and Nadja attempt to navigate an office environment while infiltrating Guillermo's workplace is some of their funniest material yet.
#4 "Am I Smoking Too Much Weed?" Big Mouth
Even in its eighth (and final) season, Big Mouth never runs out of ways to simultaneously repulse and tickle me. Not only is this episode solidly funny, but it has quite a few genuinely heartwarming moments of tenderness that other episodes don't always have the interest in pulling off.
#3 "The Edge of Glory" Overcompensating
It is possible that no episode of television this decade has had this level of exquisite, wall-to-wall gags.
#2 "Black and Yellow" Overcompensating
The thing about Overcompensating is that it is very funny, but it will also leave you dehydrated from crying once every other episode. This is one of those every other episodes. It packs a wallop, but also really relishes the comedy inherent to early college life, mining an excellent moment from the labyrinthine rules of King's Cup (among many other things).
#1 "Welcome to the Black Parade" Overcompensating
Thanksgiving episodes have a weirdly amazing track record throughout television history, from Friends to Gossip Girl to Master of None. It shouldn't be possible for new series to keep adding great material to the heap, but Overcompensating has somehow pulled it off. Thanksgiving episodes tend to put characters into a new setting, allowing the dynamics to shift. This worked wonders here by allowing Grace and Carmen to bond, in addition to forcing Benny to contend with the past he is trying to hide.
Overall, it's funny, it's heartfelt, and it features stellar performances from Connie Britton and Kyle MacLachlan to boot. I might even say this episode is stuffed with delicious morsels, if I was feeling festive.
Bottom Five Episodes of 2025
#5 "Come Out and Play" What We Do in the Shadows
This episode, which follows a vampire gathering going very wrong, clearly cost them a hell of a lot of money in locations and extras and special effects. But jokes don't cost a thing, so I don't know why they skimped on those so aggressively.
#4 "After You" Only Murders in the Building
Only Murders in the Building loves to have an experimental episode where they take a break from the ongoing story and normal format to do something fresh. These episodes are always terrible. This one, following the life of the doorman of the Arconia, is more boring than it is truly terrible, but it's still hard to look at it as anything but a major waste of time, just like the rest of the show's experimental fare.
#3 "Future Days" The Last of Us
I can be absurdly picky about zombie narratives, so take this with a grain of salt, I guess. But this episode is what crystalized my feelings of antipathy toward season 2 of The Last of Us. They clearly want the show to be a human drama more than a zombie thriller, but when the interpersonal conflicts are this stale and wearisome, why bother?
#2 "Last Dance" You
The final season of You swung violently between solid highs and perilous lows, and this is the lowest of the bunch. They try to go for a Fifty Shades vibe and manage to bungle it even worse than the movies did. Plus, when an episode isn't firing on all cylinders, it's all too easy to poke holes in the fabric that makes up the season. For instance, Griffin Matthews' tendency to overuse hand-acting reaches its peak here, and it's almost impossible to ignore.
#1 "Forget About the Boy" And Just Like That
The penultimate episode of the newest incarnation of Sex and the City made a lot of huge swings (almost none of which organically arose from the plot of the rest of the season), but yet at the same time absolutely nothing happened. It's a glorious exercise in manic boredom.
Best New Show: Overcompensating
I'll admit that I am biased because, as a homosexual from the same microgeneration as the show's creator and star Benito Skinner, I am perfectly calibrated to receive the metric ton of gay millennial pop culture references that Overcompensating boasts. But this show (which follows a gay college freshman trying to fit in and not out himself) should be a home run for basically any viewer. It's got jokes out the wazoo (Actual jokes! In a comedy! Imagine!), it knows exactly how to tug your heartstrings when it wants to, and it takes place in a gloriously demented cartoon world. I couldn't recommend it more. Obviously.
Best Returning Show: Big Mouth
Straight through to the bitter end, Big Mouth found new and exciting ways to be completely, wonderfully disgusting.
Most Improved Returning Show: You
You season 5 is hardly a perfect gem, so this just speaks to how abysmally tedious season 4 was.
Most Degraded Returning Show: What We Do in the Shadows
This is a reverse of the You situation. The sixth and final season of What We Do in the Shadows is probably a 7 out of 10, but that's a huge drop in quality for a show that previously pitched five perfect games. Those returns had to diminish sometime, I guess.
Best Dramatic Actor: Patrick Gibson, Dexter: Original Sin
An excellent combination of goofy and eerie, Patrick Gibson really figured out how to create a character who is in line with Michael C. Hall's portrayal but still charming in his own unique way.
Best Comedic Actor: Milo Manheim, School Spirits
Wally Clark is emerging as an all-time great television himbo. Many kudos to Manheim, who gets better and better as the years progress.
Best Dramatic Actress: Anna Camp, You
Just like Dylan O'Brien in Twinless, Anna Camp could get kudos simply for playing twin sisters with polar opposite personalities. But she elevates her performance far beyond that by somehow, miraculously, making every second of the increasingly soapy melodrama that those twins find themselves trapped in feel organic and believable.
Best Comedic Actress: Wally Baram, Overcompensating
It is shocking that this is comedy writer Wally Baram's first major role, because she was born to bring this perfectly awkward character to life. Overcompensating is about Benito Skinner's character, but his storyline doesn't exist without his heterosexual female foil, and Baram's effortlessly funny work is the glue that holds the whole thing together.
Best Trans/Nonbinary Actor: Holmes, Overcompensating
It shouldn't be possible to steal a show as consistently good as Overcompensating, but genderqueer actor Holmes sure does manage to pull it off almost every time they're onscreen.
Best Guest Star: Bowen Yang & Matt Rogers, Overcompensating
Bowen Yang and Matt Rogers obviously have great chemistry together, having co-hosted the podcast Las Culturistas for nearly a decade. But that doesn't automatically translate to playing a hilariously toxic couple, so I'm glad that they did whatever prep they needed to do to make it happen.
Worst Guest Star:Charli XCX, Overcompensating
See? I don't just have nice things to say about this show! Overcompensating's executive producer and music producer Charli XCX also makes a cameo appearance as herself, and it's meant to be a bit of skewering of her public persona, à la Neil Patrick Harris in the Harold and Kumar movies. However, her performance as a heinous diva falls entirely flat. They were so excited that they could get her onscreen that they never bothered to think about what might be worthwhile to do when they actually did.
Best Couple: Charley & Yuri, School Spirits
Sweet gay love stories that are actually followed through upon on teen shows! They're less common than you think!
Worst Couple: Carrie & Aidan, And Just Like That
This spot is reserved for that self-indulgent, behatted monster and her toxic manbaby lover during any year they on my television screen.
Best Costume: Carrie's Postcard-Mailing Lingerie, And Just Like That
Carrie has worn some heinous outfits throughout the many installments in the Sex and the City universe, but there are several diamonds hidden in that rough. This is one of them. Should she be wearing this to post mail? Maybe not. But she looks jaw-droppingly incredible, so who am I to judge?
Worst Costume: The Hat, And Just Like That
Speaking of Carrie's heinous outfits... Seriously, that thing is bigger than Central Park itself.
Biggest Laugh: Nandor's Paper Towels, What We Do in the Shadows
Nandor took one look at the janitorial supplies at Cannon Capital and was instantly (and incorrectly) certain that he knew exactly what to do with them. He causes a lot of delicious chaos during his undercover gig, but his finest hour is the casual havoc he wreaks with a simple roll of paper towels.
Biggest Cry: The Hot Tub, And Just Like That
The moment where Charlotte and Lisa Todd Wexley had a shared moment of grief and compassion during a heart-to-heart in a hot tub while glamping was a brief, devastating reminder that these characters are meant to be real human beings.
Biggest Scream: The Chain Link Fence, The Last of Us
This setpiece, where a character must force herself through a narrowing, tightening space in order to avoid being devoured is proof that there are still pulse-pounding moments yet to be mined from the live-action zombie genre. Alas, The Last of Us forgets this lesson more or less immediately.
Biggest Thirst: The Rugby Prologue, Single, Out
The opening scene of Single, Out season 3 features the lead character daydreaming about a hot rugby player while sporting a haircut that is completely different from what he has for the rest of the season. While that detail speaks to how unapologetically chaotic this show is, the scene as a whole is one of many, many, many moments that are hotter than the otherwise considerably-less-than-professional production should really be able to get away with.
Best Kill: Kevin Bacon, The Bondsman
This isn't a spoiler. I'm talking about the pilot, where his hardass bounty hunter character is killed and brought to life, marking the beginning of his demon hunter era (just two months before KPop joined the fray). It's a gross special effect, and one of the only ones that really gets under your skin in this otherwise CGI-laden series.
Best SNL Sketch: "Plans"
As someone who has a "3" at the beginning of his age, I can very much relate to the existential dread of suddenly having to interact with other human beings when all you wanted to do was stay home in slippers and watch TV.
Worst SNL Sketch: "KPop Demon Hunters"
The recurring punchline of this whole sketch is that KPop Demon Hunters exists and that they could get the real-life Huntr/x to perform on SNL. Not everything is funny simply because it's true.
Best Musical Performance: Lady Gaga, 2025 Tudum
Not to brag, but I was in the room when this happened! Lady Gaga is a consummate performer, and she singlehandedly made it worth sitting through that disjointed, ramshackle Netflix promotional live event.
Worst Musical Performance: James Bond Medley, 97th Academy Awards
I'm not saying that any of these performers are bad per se, but they were incredibly random choices for a medley of James Bond themes that already had no reason to be in this year's Oscars telecast. Raye performing "Skyfall" was probably the best fit, though she tries to show off a little too hard, and it kills the meter of the song. Doja Cat performing "Diamonds Are Forever," on the other hand, was a huge miss. I imagine that singing wouldn't even be the first skill that she would list on her business card, so handing her a Shirley Bassey number was an incalculable blunder.
While Lisa performing "Live and Let Die" was slightly better, the medley mostly served to point out to the fact that most of our Top 40 stars right now aren't exactly torch song divas. And Margaret Qualley performing ballet to the Bond theme at the beginning? Uh... sure, why not.
Best Original Song: "Our Highway" The Bondsman
I know Jennifer Nettles is mostly acting these days, but if you get Sugarland's lead singer in your show, you better let her write and perform a fun-ass country song with Kevin Bacon! Or two. Or five. (Spoiler alert: They do a bunch, but "Our Highway" is the best.)
Best Line: "Actually, he's rumored to have titty-fucked me." Overcompensating
This is a perfectly idiotic line, perfectly delivered by Wally Baram as a character who is perfectly aware that the alleged titty-fucking never happened but is trying to keep a lid on maybe accidentally outing her best friend.
Worst Line: “The woman wondered what she had gotten herself into.” And Just Like That
Every line we get from Carrie's absurdly awful debut novel is a three-course meal of nonsense, but my favorite is the first one we ever get to hear. You think that maybe she'll develop her fictional character (a blisteringly obvious analogue for her favorite person: herself) over the course of the season, but nope. The character is always just "the woman." The shock never truly wears off.
2025 Crush: Tate Shaw
I couldn't find an in-universe picture of Jason Schmidt, who played Aidan's son Tate in And Just Like That season 3, so enjoy this photo from his IMDb profile. Say what you will about Aidan Shaw (and I have), but he sure has brought a light into this world.
BOOKS
Top Five Books of 2025
#5 Mirage City, Lev A. C. Rosen
The fourth installment in Rosen's mystery series set in 1950s California sees its closed-off noir-y detective character opening himself yet another crack. It's slow burn character development, for sure, but getting to spend time learning about the gay underground movements of the period while by the side of such a compelling character is oh so pleasant.
#4 Jane Austen's Bookshelf, Rebecca Romney
I picked up this book because I will at least give a passing glance to anything with the name Jane Austen on the cover. However, this is a much richer text than your average Austensploitation. Not only is Jane Austen's Bookshelf a candid and inviting history of the largely forgotten women whose work Austen read, it is a lovely memoir detailing the ins and outs of book collecting which also traces the often strange whims of literary history that shape the canon.
#3 The Romantic Tragedies of a Drama King, Harry Trevaldwyn
This is the most genuinely funny contemporary young adult novel that I've read in years. This tale of a love-obsessed drama kid deciding he's going to nab himself a boyfriend before learning how to be a boyfriend is pure, charming sweetness.
#2 Daughter of Daring, Mallory O'Meara
Mallory O'Meara, who has already cemented herself as a must-read voice in contemporary nonfiction, returns to form with her biography of Helen Gibson, the first female stunt performer in Hollywood. O'Meara uses Gibson's story as an inroad into discussing the unsung women of early Hollywood in general, and it's fascinating from top to bottom.
Take this from someone who has slogged his way through his fair share of film texts, but never has the history of filmmaking in the early 20th century been so compulsively readable.
#1 Sky Daddy, Kate Folk
This book, about a woman who has a sexual fascination with planes and whose dearest wish is to "marry" one by dying in a fiery crash, defies typical genre categories. Part thriller, part romance, and part psychological horror story, Sky Daddy is above all a nail-biting study of obsession and how it can radically reshape one's life. It is also a riveting, envelope-pushing experiment in how far a book can stretch a reader's instinct to root for the protagonist of a story to get what they want, even (perhaps especially) if they are an antihero.
It's also, somehow, the best ode to platonic friendship of the year and a frank admission that everybody is weirder than they pretend to be. This has proven to be a difficult book for me to successfully recommend to people, given its subject matter. But please. I'm begging you. Give this one a try. Don't get bogged down by what the plot sounds like on paper. Sky Daddy is not only my favorite book of the year, but my favorite new novel since at least 2021.
Top Five Books I Read for the First Time in 2025
#5 Freaky Friday (1972), Mary Rodgers
First, a warning: This book has way more racism in it than you're prepared for, even if you're a survivor of the fortune cookie sequence in the 2003 movie adaptation (though, to be fair, the protagonist her self is avowedly anti-racist). But I found this book to be tremendously readable and laugh-out-loud funny, even if it does feel like it was ripped from the moral universe of the 1950s rather than the early '70s.
#4 Jason Priestley: A Memoir (2014), Jason Priestley
I read a fuckton of memoirs from Beverly Hills, 90210 stars after finishing my marathon of the series earlier this year. Not only is Jason Priestley's the best, it is a genuinely compelling read when taken on its own. I appreciated the curt frankness of his (or, more likely, his ghostwriter's) authorial voice, in addition to the dishy content it brought to life.
#3 Evelina (1778), Frances Burney
This is one of the novels that Jane Austen's Bookshelf exposed me to, and boy am I glad it did! It has its flaws (ie. a protagonist who is a simpering nitwit), but it's an engrossing novel that combines literary wit with a more telenovela-esque storyline than anything Jane ever wrought. I mean, a fop gets attacked by a monkey in Evelina! This was a tough one to put down.
#2 Giant's Bread (1930), Agatha Christie as Mary Westmacott
I have been slowly working my way through the domestic dramas that Agatha Christie wrote under a pseudonym, chasing the dragon of the tragic masterpiece that was Absent in the Spring. None have come close to beating that novel, but all have been pretty darn terrific in their own right. Giant's Bread is the standout, presenting intriguing and layered characters who are brimming with feelings and vitality in the midst of a decades-spanning exploration of the life of a blossoming musician.
#1 Dangerous Liaisons (1782), Pierre Choderlos de Laclos
Yes, I read this because I watched Cruel Intentions for the first time this year. But we come to things how we come to them, and this was a rip-snorting good time. Knowing that books like Evelina and this soapy, sexy romp exist, I give a hefty amount of side-eye to anyone who claims that classic literature is boring. You just need to read the right things, my friends!
Best Book Cover: Don't Let Me Go
Full disclosure: I haven't read this book yet. I've got no idea if it's any good, and I'm told one isn't allowed to judge books by their covers, for some reason. But what a lovely cover. It's breaking basically every rule of young adult romance cover design, placing the couple off-center at that canted overhead angle, making the two figures meeting feel more candid and accidental, thus perfectly offsetting the fantastical inevitability implied by the rest of the cover. Also it's such a pretty shade of blue.
2025 Crush: Kris
Sarah Raasch's Royals & Romance series, which follows the princes of various magical holiday-themed kingdoms falling in love with each other, may be baffling, but it sure knows how to deliver a hot protagonist. In a world that teems with hot fairy tale princes, Kris Claus (the lead of the second novel, Go Luck Yourself) might just be the most eminently crushable.
On this here blog, I got ole Census Bloodbath up and running again after a few years on the backburner and managed to review the last of the slashers of 1985. Stay tuned for more from 1986!
I won't share an image of this to protect privacy, but in addition to donating to wildfire relief elsewhere, I contributed to a very important charity effort now known as Land of Lovies that was created by Ashley Reckdenwald in an effort to provide children with replacements for beloved stuffed animals that were lost in the L.A. fires. If I was separated from my Pikachu and T-Rex at that age, it would have wrecked me, and I'm very grateful that Reckdenwald was thoughtful enough to realize how much little things like this matter, even among devastation that was so widespread and large-scale.
I was able to procure an exact replica of a little girl's stuffed bunny, and I truly have never felt like a single action of mine has had more of a direct impact on another person's life. I highly recommend supporting this organization however you can!
I finished my years-long marathon of Beverly Hills, 90210 and Melrose Place! To celebrate the final day, my boyfriend, Ben, and I watched the pilot episode of 90210, went to the real-life location that played the exterior of the Peach Pit, then watched the finale. I'll miss Brandon, Andrea, Kelly, Donna, David, and the rest of the gang (not Steve), but I'm glad to finally be free to watch other TV shows!
Ben and I went to two weddings on two consecutive weekends (in Lake Tahoe and Cleveland, two extremely comparable places) in addition to taking a massive road trip through Toronto (where we visited Corey Haim's grave), Montréal (where we visited the filming locations of movies such as Scream VI and Happy Birthday to Me) and Acadia National Park (where we looked at trees or whatever).
Oh, also Ben and I got engaged this year! Isn't that cute?
The following movies are titles that I have rejected from consideration for Census Bloodbath, my project where I watch and review every slasher movie from the 1980s. I have indicated the reasons why these movies (which I have seen listed as slashers by various sources) are not included. If you have strong objections and think that a particular title should be included, sound off in the comments. I will not budge on the ones with asterisks next to their listings, which I have seen and assessed personally.
1980
The Beasts (1980) - rape-revenge Blood Beach (1980) - monster movie Cardiac Arrest (1980) - actually 1979 The Children (1980) - mass pandemonium/supernatural Deadline (1980) - slasher element not part of main plot Demented (1980) - rape-revenge Don’t Open the Door (1980) - actually 1974 The Exterminator (1980) - borderline/vigilante action House on the Edge of the Park (1980) - borderline/rape-revenge Macabre (1980)- lacks the right arrangement of killers/victims Shadows of the Mind (1980) - actually 1979 Vengeance (1980) - gang mayhem
1981
Frozen Scream (1981) - borderline/multiple killers/ zombie killers Demonoid (1981) - borderline/supernatural/slasher elements too diffuse Evil + Hate = Killer/Psycho from Texas/The Butcher (1981) - actually 1975 The House by the Cemetery (1981) - too borderline The Last Motel (1981) - no evidence that this is a real movie No Place to Hide (1981) - borderline/stalker TV movie/only one kill The Pit (1981) - monster movie Southern Comfort (1981) - more Deliverance than slasher
1982
The Black Room (1982) - borderline, not enough active slashing Curse of Evil (1982) - slasher elements not front-and-center/creature feature/supernatural Lullaby of Death/Konoko no nanatsu no oiwai ni (1982) - slasher element not front and center Manhattan Baby (1982) - another Fulci mashup, slasher elements not prominent enough The Scarecrow (1982) - borderline/murders mostly offscreen A Stranger Is Watching (1982) - borderline Terminal Choice (1982) - borderline medical thriller
1983
Dagger Eyes (1983) - borderline giallo/spy movie Deadly Force (1983) - borderline cop movie Heartbeat (1983) - not enough active slashing *The House of the Yellow Carpet (1983) - no active threat/body count too low Island Fury (1983) - too borderline/slasher elements decentralized/too many killers The Lift (1983) - more of a supernatural/creature feature Nightmares (1983) - anthology Screamtime (1983) - anthology without full slasher connections Slayground (1983) - borderline/crime movie
1984
Axe (1984) - actually 1974 Bloodbath at the House of Death (1984) - slasher element not front and center Body Double (1984) - borderline/body count too low Highway Hypnosis (1984) - trance film with slasher-related flashes The Sinister Doctor Orloff (1984) - slasher elements not foregrounded *Sleepwalker (1984) - just a bland drama *The Terminator (1984) - I completely agree that this doesn’t exist without slasher tropes, but get serious Tightrope (1984) - borderline/crime movie *Trial Run (1984) - "anti-slasher"
1985
Blackout (1985) - inactive killer By Hook or by Crook/A garrote limpio (1985) - borderline/cop movie The Comic (1985) - slasher element not front and center Future-Kill (1985) - borderline/diffuse slasher elements/sci-fi Gunblast (1985) - borderline/crime thriller/too much gun use Hellhole (1985) - borderline/women in prison movie The Island (1985) - too Deliverance-y *Junior (1985) - rednexploitation The Mean Season (1985) - borderline/cat-and-mouse thriller/Silence of the Lambs vibes *Murder Elite (1985) - no consistent kills/threat of murder Night Train to Terror (1985) - anthology Terror and Black Lace (1985) - apparently a melodrama with slasher elements/only two kills Viernes 31 (1985) - not released until the 2020s
1986
*Bridge to Nowhere (1986) - borderline/survival thriller/too few deaths/almost all deaths are gun deaths Cobra (1986) - borderline/action movie Devil Story (1986) - slasher elements, but not a full slasher Entrails of a Virgin (1986) - adult film/slasher elements secondary Frenchman’s Farm (1986) - slasher not properly active in main storyline Hands of Steel (1986) - sci-fi/revenge Misty Darkness (1986) - killer not prominent enough among the villains The Murders in the Rue Morgue (1986) - borderline/crime mystery/body count too low Nightmare Weekend (1986) - borderline/sci-fil/lacks singular core killer The Night Stalker (1986) - borderline/cop movie Rawhead Rex (1986) - borderline/creature feature The Seven Vampires (1986) - softcore/too supernatural, not slasher enough Tracking (1986) - too borderline, only one kill Wired to Kill (1986) - borderline/sci-fi revenge Sex with a Stranger (1986) - adult film/slasher elements secondary
1987
Bijo reipu-gari (1987) - adult film/inaccessible Bloody New Year (1987) - supernatural horror Demon Queen (1987) - borderline/vampire movie Hādo reipu (1987) - adult film/inaccessible Maniac Killer (1987) - killer cult Miami Vendetta (1987) - cop movie Rest in Pieces (1987) - cultist killers Venus Flytrap (1987) - home invasion Wolf’s Hole (1987) - borderline/not enough slashing
1988
Blood Orgy of the Leather Girls (1988) - too many killers, closer to a mass pandemonium movie The Boy from Hell/To the Devil a Son/Bloodspell (1988) - borderline/supernatural Brothers in Arms (1988) - Deliverance-y Captives (1988) - slasher elements not prominent enough in main storyline Grandmother’s House (1988) - borderline/psychological thriller Hero and the Terror (1988) - slasher elements are only superficial Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988) - falsely marketed as a proper slasher The Moonlight Sonata (1988) - lack of kills, not enough victims threatened The Nostril Picker (1988) - actual release date in question, probably 1993 Primal Rage (1988) - mass pandemonium movie Prime Evil (1988) - too cult focused Rabid Grannies (1988) - too borderline
1989
After Midnight (1989) - anthology Blood Nasty (1989) - borderline/zombie/comedy The Bloody Video Horror That Made Me Puke on My Aunt Gertrude (1989) - slasher element isn’t active the whole time Clownhouse (1989) - didn’t have its non-festival debut until 1990 Dark Heritage (1989) - borderline/supernatural/Lovecraftian Deadly Games/Dial Code Santa Claus (1989) - its non-festival premiere was 1990 Eyewitness (1989) - didn't debut until the 1990s Milwaukee Murders (1989) - didn't actually debut on VHS until 1991 Panic in the Forest/Pánico en el bosque (1989) - no consistent murder threat in the middle hour Parents (1989) - lack of active onscreen kills Pledge Night (1989) - US debut in 1990 Revenge of the Radioactive Reporter (1989) - more Toxic Avenger than proper slasher Satan’s Storybook (1989) - anthology Vacation of Terror (1989) - supernatural/slasher elements not prominent enough
Note: It must be recognized that Evil Laugh was directed and co-written by the late Dominick Brascia. Onscreen, he most memorably played Joey, the character whose death sent his secret father Roy on a murderous copycat killer rampage inFriday the 13th: A New Beginning. Brascia also appeared inRush Week andThey're Playing with Fire and directed Hard Rock Nightmare. It's difficult to get too excited about all of these Census Bloodbath connections, considering the fact that he was accused of sexually abusing Corey Haim amid a flurry of he-said-she-said comments made by him, Haim's mother, and Charlie Sheen following Haim's death, so consider the alleged bullshit acknowledged. Woof.
Year: 1986 Director: Dominick Brascia Cast: Kim McKamy, Steven Baio, Myles O'Brien Run Time: 1 hour 31 minutes MPAA Rating: R
Plot: Aspiring pediatrician Jerry (Gary Hays of Hard Rock Nightmare) invites his med school friends from the fictional Catalina Island State University (this is pretty funny, if you're from Southern California) to come fix up a closed-down foster home. The home is the site of a heinous crime some 10 years before. An employee named Martin brutally murdered the children after they falsely accused him of molesting them, and his ghost is said to still haunt the area. For his trouble, Jerry is murdered by a masked, uncontrollably laughing assailant.
Into this situation unknowingly steps a group of the horniest med students on planet Earth: Jerry's fiancée Connie (Kim McCamy of Dreamaniac, who followed her banner year of slashers by becoming a pornographic actress and body double under the name Ashlyn Gere); the annoying preppy rich couple Betty (Karyn O'Bryan) and Sammy Douglas Baxter III (Tony Griffin); the studly and cruel urologist Mark (Myles O'Brien); dropout X-Ray tech Johnny (Steven Baio, who produced and co-wrote Evil Laugh and later starred in Hard Rock Nightmare - also he's Scott Baio's brother); the ditsy and horny Tina (Jodi Gibson, who later became known as Sasha, the Hollywood Super Madam, running an escort service that at one time employed Heidi Fleiss - is there anyone in this movie whose resume isn't incredibly complicated?).
Although they are somewhat weirded out by the fact that Jerry is missing, they get to work fixing up the place and sexually manipulating one another, often at the same time. Only the Fangoria-reading horror fan Barney (Jerold Pearson of Tag: The Assassination Game) is wary of the situation, and as the laughing killer targets the students one by one, Barney grows increasingly panicked by the signs that only he seems to see.
Analysis:Evil Laugh is a weirdly perfect double feature with Dreamaniac, which is the most recent 1986 slasher we covered on Census Bloodbath. Both movies star Kim McKamy, for one thing. But both also have a sex scene involving whipped cream and feature copious male flesh, though this one is more equitable in the female nudity department and thus significantly less homoerotic, it must be said.
Being significantly less homoerotic than Dreamaniac still leaves a lot of room for fun, however. Take the friendship between Mark, Johnny, and Barney, which is the most "wouldn't it be hilarious if we kissed?" dynamic I've ever seen in a 1980s slasher movie. My favorite scene is the one where Barney pranks Mark by hiding under the bed while Mark is having sex with Tina, then pushing his hand through a hole in the mattress and stroking Mark's pert bottom. You know. Because it's really funny that Mark briefly thinks it's Tina who's caressing and squeezing those caked-up cheeks. Classic prank!
Thankfully, it is pleasant enough to spend time with these characters cleaning and fucking, because the pacing of Evil Laugh is wonky as hell and the core platter of Meat refuses to fall to the killer's blade for the better part of an hour. That said, it's nice to have a good chunk of slasher Meat in the first place, because a lot of the slashers of 1985 largely eschewed that element of the formula.
The movie does less well with other tropes, unfortunately. For instance, the killer's mask is this desperately uninteresting black and white thing that even the movie itself seems embarrassed by, because we only ever see it in like three shots total. Also, the killer's M.O. of constantly laughing isn't scary, but it also fails to tie into either the story of Martin or the eventual reveal of who the killer really is.
[SPOILER ALERT - the killer is Sadie Burns (Susan Grant), the wife of the property's real estate agent Roger Burns (Howard Weiss), and she is at least seeded into some early scenes of the movie, but her Mrs. Voorhees moment feels especially Friday the 13th-esque because it comes out of absolutely nowhere.]
The kills themselves are often pretty bland, too. In more than half of them, the uniformly bad actors are failing to sell unconvincing gore gags. Plus, the movie resolutely refuses to have the fact that the characters are med students play into these sequences even a little bit. However, the film does perk up periodically for some standout moments.
Honestly, the thing that truly keeps the film afloat is that it does have these scattered moments of horror brilliance. It just carries on being a run-of-the-mill slasher movie for minutes upon minutes upon minutes, but then it'll have a gem of a scene like the one where Betty is tied up on the bed and gagged for a bit of S&M fun and thus Sammy is unable to heed her warning that a killer has entered the room.
Now, the thing that I haven't mentioned about this movie yet is that people will tell you is that this movie is a meta comedy precursor to 1996's Scream. It certainly has a few moments that predict, Nostradamus-like, the way that the seminal meta slasher will behave 10 years on, including a proto "this is the part where the killer comes back to life" bit from Barney.
And it's true that there are quite a few moments where other slasher movies are referenced and a few where the tropes of horror (sex = death, mainly) are discussed, particularly by Barney. However, at least to my eyes, these moments were much more similar to the vein of humor you found in the same year's Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives than anything Kevin Williamson was up to in the Scream franchise. It was late enough into the 1980s that screenwriters were more and more tempted to put a hat on the slasher tropes they were using, without the added element of having the majority of the characters genuinely seem to be aware that they were in a horror movie.
That's about the extent of the comedy in this movie, which is otherwise a run-of-the-mill slasher. However, the presence of a strong comic thread makes certain moments play wrong, particularly the absurdly dark backstory given to the foster home. The details we learn about Martin's rampage grow more and more ludicrously shocking, in a way that never plays as humor but also never appropriately bleeds into the level of horror at which the main story is operating. It's just kind of gross and edgelordy for no reason.
All in all, while I am content with giving Evil Laugh the same score as Dreamaniac, it's one that I'm less keen to recommend. It just barely crawled its way across the threshold of being worth watching, whereas the other Kim McKamy joint of the year was a blast from start to finish.
Killer: Evil Laugher (Dominick Brascia when masked)/Sadie Burns (Susan Grant when unmasked)
Final Girl: Connie (Kim McKamy)
Best Kill: Johnny has his head shoved into a microwave, which cooks him to the point that blood explodes out of his cranium. This absolutely isn't how it would work in real life, but who cares.
Sign of the Times: They say picture is worth a thousand words.
Scariest Moment: Chief Cash (Hal Shafer) is talking to a wannabe cop, Freddy (Johnny Venokur of Hard Rock Nightmare), who is stationed in the bushes to watch over the house. Freddy is wet behind the ears and unsure about how cop things work, so he asks why there is somebody in the backseat of Cash's car. Somebody that Cash was unaware of until that moment...
Weirdest Moment: In the closing sequence, Connnie is seen walking past a signed headshot of her late fiancé.
Champion Dialogue: “If I were a girl, I'd become a lesbian."
Body Count: 12
Jerry is stabbed in the back and has his heart removed.
Donald is drilled in the torso.
Chief Cash has his throat slit offscreen.
Freddy is stabbed in the gut.
Sammy is macheted in the back of the head.
Betty is killed offscreen.
Mr. Burns is stabbed in the crotch.
Mark is axed in the forehead.
Tina is strangled and has her neck snapped.
Johnny has his head microwaved.
Sadie Burns is shot, both by Connie and Barney.
Barney is stabbed with scissors by Connie.
TL;DR:Evil Laugh is a threadbare slasher, but it is intermittently horny enough, funny enough, and scary enough to be worth watching.
Year: 1986 Director: David DeCoteau Cast: Thomas Bern, Kim McKamy, Sylvia Summers Run Time: 1 hour 22 minutes
Plot: Aspiring heavy metal musician Adam (Thomas Bern) makes a deal with a succubus named Lily (Sylvia Summers). According to multiple plot synopses online, this deal is to make him better with women. The audio on the absurdly shitty VHS transfer used for the movie's official DVD release was too muddy for me to hear exactly what he asked for, but that request doesn't really make sense to me, because he already has a cool punk girlfriend, Pat (Kim McKamy of Evil Laugh).
Whatever it is that he actually asks for, he ends up being enslaved by the succubus, who shows up at a sorority party thrown by Pat's sister Jodi (Lauren Peterson) and begins killing people left and right. She is somewhat indiscriminate when it comes to the gender of her victims, but she does try to seduce as many of the men as she can before eliminating them.
Analysis: Let me introduce you to Dreamaniac director David DeCoteau, if you've never had the pleasure. He is a gay icon, and a director with many fascinating behind-the-scenes stories to tell. The only problem comes when you get in front of the scenes.
His movies, from Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama to A Talking Cat!?!, are usually shoestring budget productions that are produced at breakneck speeds to capitalize on whatever the latest trend is. It's fascinating to hear him speak about how he does what he does, but usually the answer is "let the camera roll on an actor walking around for 10 minutes without cutting."
Another fun thing about the man is that, between mockbusters like Hansel and Gretel: Warriors of Witchcraft and 90210 Shark Attack, he has built entire franchises (1313, The Brotherhood) out of watching twunks wandering around in their tighty whities and having nasty things happen to them. Because of his filmmaking approach, however, the results are usually terminally boring. Nevertheless, you gotta admire him.
Anyway, very few things get between David DeCoteau and a quick buck, so I can't say that I was surprised to find him in the director's chair for one of the first slasher movies to capitalize on the popularity of 1984's A Nightmare on Elm Street.
Dreamaniac came still early enough in the slasher timeline that it was merely retitled (from Succubus) and given a new poster, rather than fully ripping off Elm Street storywise, in the manner of something like Bad Dreams. This means that, instead of forcing us to watch an insipid Freddy Krueger imitation quip his way through scenes (à la Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama), DeCoteau has instead leaned in on what would soon become his standby narrative mode: twunk-watching.
Almost without exception, the male characters in this movie doff their tops, pants, and even underwear in the pursuit of maximal titillation, while the women among their number mostly make do with low-cut dresses and sexy lingerie (if I recall correctly, there is only one female character who goes topless in this movie, which is a rarity for this level of slasher sleaze).
While we did get some other inexplicably male-flesh-heavy 1980s slasher movies (like Girls Nite Out and The Majorettes) from time to time, the fact that Dreamaniac was also directed by a gay man, written by two women, and stars a nonbinary actor (Lauren Peterson) makes it more or less unique among the slasher sludge of the 1980s.
Its queer sensibility extends way beyond its obsession with male flesh. Without this group of people behind the camera, I don't think the resident mean girl Francis (Cynthia Crass) would have half as many deliciously cutting things to say, for instance. There are only a few rare moments of actual homoerotic subtext (that said, the men in this movie are unusually incurious about what sex with their dates might be like), but there is an overall sense of playfulness that I think would be lacking if Dreamaniac was made by cishet male filmmakers.
Having women pen the screenplay also gives the movie an additional layer. It's hardly a feminist text, but it ultimately leans much more Slumber Party Massacre than I might have expected, especially with its dual final girls and a few well-placed drill-related moments.
Having said mostly nice things about this movie, so far, I don't want to be mistaken for saying it's some kind of long-lost masterpiece. David DeCoteau's less exhilarating filmmaking instincts do shine through on occasion (including the loooooooong opening credits sequence where the names of the cast and crew appear on the screen one by one by one in an implacable, stately march), and the acting ain't all that great for the most part. Plus, despite a few major exceptions, the kills are fairly tame and unoriginal.
However, it succeeds far more often than it fails. And most of the times it does fail, it does so in a zesty way, like the closing sequence that randomly posits that (SPOILER ALERT) the events of the movie are the contents of a novel written by the real-life Adam. This sequence includes a joke that winks at the fact that the movie is called Succubus. Which, of course, it isn't. Don't you just love that?
Killer: Lily (Sylvia Summers)
Final Girl: Pat (Ashlyn Gere) feat. Jodi (Lauren Peterson)
Best Kill: Adam's death is gruesome. Pat uses the world's longest drill to sever his head, and we get a gnarly insert shot of his flesh ripping in the process.
Sign of the Times: Everything that is said or worn is incredibly 1980s, but a small moment is what really caught my eye this time: Adam fiddling with his guitar while watching a kaiju movie on his tiny portable rabbit-ear television evoked a very realistic vibe of a bored dude at home that would look entirely different if it took place in 2025.
Scariest Moment: The opening establishing shot of Adam's house lasts like 40 seconds, and I worried that this would be another interminable David DeCoteau joint.
Weirdest Moment: One scene in the kitchen keeps panning past the fridge, which has four different canisters of Quaker Oats on top of it.
Champion Dialogue: “I remember Brad. Big-hearted, and it stops there."
Body Count: 10; give or take a smothering that I think was committed on Lily and was thus unsuccessful, but the visuals were too murky to tell if it was accidentally perpetrated on a different character.
Cat dies offscreen.
Valley Girl is stabbed in the top of the head.
Ace is electrocuted while tied up, then later impaled through the eye.
Foster is stabbed in the back of the neck while drinking from the punch bowl.
Jan has a poker jammed into her chest.
Brad has his dick bitten off.
Francis has her throat slit by Adam.
Jamie is garroted.
Adam is decapitated by Pat with a drill.
Real-Life Adam is clawed in the throat.
TL;DR: Dreamaniac is a gleefully cheesy softcore slasher with a welcome queer sensibility.
A Note: This movie was only available to me in unsubtitled Tamil, so obviously my review is to be taken with a few huge grains of salt. However, I have made a point of focusing only on visual styling, music, and slasher structure rather than plot, characters, etc.
Plot (according to a translated synopsis that matches up with what I saw): When women around town begin mysteriously dying at the hands of a killer wielding a lethally sharp palette knife, Inspector Vinoth (Nizhalgal Ravi) takes on the case and targets local painter Chandru (Mohan) as the prime suspect. Chandru's new girlfriend Annam Poornima (Revathi) finds herself caught in the middle.
Analysis: As Census Bloodbath continues plowing through the slasher movies of the 1980s, we're kicking off 1986 proper in December, and I can hardly think of a better way to mark that occasion than by starting with a review of the Indian slasher December Pookkal (December Flowers).
And by that, I am referring entirely to the title featuring the word "December," because otherwise, I have generally found that the vibe of the Indian film industry's output in the 1980s allowed for very few genuinely thrilling horror movies. While Cheekh and Haveli had their moments, for every mildly sparkly diamond you unearth, you find multiple grimly mediocre efforts like Sansani. Or Sannata. Or Saboot. Or, god help you, Moodu Pani. Are you catching my drift?
December Pookkal certainly follows in the footsteps of those latter titles when it comes to its quality as a slasher. Even though it has a nice giallo-esque touch by featuring a black-gloved killer with a unique weapon, its kills are infrequent, bloodless, and so elliptically edited that, while you're aware that the killer has a consistent M.O. (putting the sharp palette knife in the general vicinity of a victim's neck before striking), you never understand even once what actually happens to the victims.
Simply put, it's a shit slasher. Thankfully, it's not a half-bad musical dramedy. The choreography is quite lovely, in fact. Particularly when it comes to the first big romantic number. That sequence, which places Mohan and Revathi in a forest of towering trees, mimics the push and pull of the early stages of a romance in a way that is completely charming, if not entirely inventive.
The movie's innate sense of rhythm isn't limited to its musical moments, either. Both the laughs and the thrills benefit from a strong sense of timing. The comedy is mostly driven by the performers and their rat-a-tat back-and-forth line deliveries, while the thrills are elevated by the rhythmic editing that punctuates moments like an early torture scene and a disorienting party where Poornima gets overwhelmed as the dancing and drinking around her spin wildly out of control.
This all makes for an exceedingly pleasant watch. But don't misunderstand me. I'm not saying that December Pookkal is some kind of masterpiece. I appreciate the kinda twisted romantic denouement and the fact that characters keep randomly getting hit by cars, but the slasher scenes are never anything more than boring, for one thing. And there are too many characters populating the periphery of this story, forcing the movie to stop dead whenever it periodically drags them back in.
It's just not quite a good movie, even though it approaches being one in a variety of ways. Certainly not one that's good enough to be worth overlooking the language obstacle for non-Tamil speakers.
Killer: Chandru (Mohan)
Final Girl: Annam Poornima (Revathi)
Best Kill: I usually abhor gun deaths in slashers, but the other deaths are so bland and samey. So I'm picking Chandru's demise, where he is shot by the police and subsequently milks his death throes, thrashing and squirming for what feels like a full minute and a half.
Sign of the Times: Two characters listen to a radio report via the biggest boom box I've ever seen.
Scariest Moment: Chandru and Poornima stroll along the beach while giant waves are crashing to the shore, and I became increasingly worried that they might get swept out by the tide.
Weirdest Moment: A character wanders into some sort of art collective/den of sins, where a dude is covered in fake cobwebs and a little person is poking the ceiling with a giant stick.
Champion Dialogue: N/A
Body Count: 5; I think? The kill scenes weren't super legible, and my lack of understanding of the dialogue may have led me to misread a discrete kill as a flashback explaining the preceding one. But I'm pretty sure my count is correct.
Well Woman is stabbed in the neck.
Woman is drowned offscreen.
Shower Woman is stabbed in the neck.
Blue Dress Woman is stabbed in the neck.
Chandru is shot.
TL;DR: December Pookkal is a reasonably charming Indian musical drama, but offers very little in the realm of slasher fun.