The Great Divide

I'm cooking up some fantastic stuff for you guys (and also dealing with actual real life things like finals), but fantastic things take time (and, you know, finals. you get it.), so for the moment Sergio will be hijacking my blog to serenade your eyes with one of his newest articles! Enjoy!

[EN: You can read Sergio's other contribution to Popcorn Culture here.]

10 Films to Force Your Boyfriend to Sit Through

When you’ve been dating for as long as Brennan and I have you begin to notice that your personalities can at times clash. There is a lot to be said that most of our arguments have been around films and our differing views on any particular one. So in the midst of California’s fiercest heatwave to date, I decided to take it upon myself and compile a list of films that we have shown one another only to find out that the other hates it. So without further ado I present to you the 10 films that you must force your boyfriend to sit through.

Note: I began this post sometime in September when it was as hot as the devils ass crack. It is now December and we are briefly enjoying rain which is sorely needed here in California. You may continue.

[EN: The rain really is lovely. See? At least there's something we can agree on. Also, please keep in mind that, for those of you facing similar cinematic schisms in your own relationships, movie enjoyment isn't the pillar of a strong relationship. 'Taint the end of the world if your boo don't like the same things as you. They just need to be educated.]

#1 Love is Strange (2014, Ira Sachs)

Who showed who: I showed this to Brennan believing it would be a good idea to expose him to something without stabbing. I was wrong.

Taking place in Brooklyn, this Sundance darling stars Alfred Molina and John Lithgow as a middle-aged gay couple who decide to marry after a historic 39 years of living in sin. The movie opens with friends and family gathered around their ceremony welcoming their new marriage with open arms and positive words of encouragement. Things go awry when Molina’s boss (An archdiocese and head of the catholic school at which he teaches) finds out about their marriage and interprets it to be as a political statement that goes against their wholesome catholic beliefs. The two must struggle to maintain their lifestyle with a severely reduced income in the jungle that is New York real estate. They eventually find themselves in separate living arrangements and in essence, testing the strength of their love.

Why Sergio enjoyed it: I enjoyed seeing an elderly gay couple marry for the sake of love, and as Brennan pointed out it was one of the most effortlessly diverse film casts that I’ve seen in a while.

Why Brennan hated it: He thought the ending was unnecessary and that the two spent too much time apart and not basking in the basking glow of each other’s love. That’s all he would do if he was married to John Lithgow according to him.

[EN: Let me just say that, as the author of this piece, Sergio has the right to editorialize a little bit. I'm just here to check for grammar. Anyway, Love is Strange isn't, like, the worst film that ever existed. But it certainly fell flat for me. I mean, yay for representation of platonic, elderly LGBT couples, but I wish it took place in a film with more plot than "old dudes can't live together because they live in a world where people deal with problems like they're in a sitcom, also a kid stole a library book and this is a big deal for some reason." Although I dug the constant digs at the family member who lives in Poughkeepsie. It has nothing to do with the plot and she doesn't end up playing a major role in the character relationships. They just keep relentlessly mocking her. She's the Jerry Gergitch of Love is Strange. Poor Mitsy. Read my review here.]

#2 The Guest (2014, Adam Wingard)

Who showed who: Brennan won tickets via Twitter and invited me down to DTLA to experience the magic with him.

Adam Wingard and Simon Barrett team up again after the modest success of their indie horror hit You’re Next. The duo decided to venture away from horror and the result was The Guest. Taking place in the middle of nowhere, the titular character played by Dan Stevens is a soldier who is visiting the family of a fellow soldier who died while in action. The mother for reasons unknown invites this stranger to stay with her and her loved ones for an unspecified amount of time. What follows can only be described as pure film gibberish. In a town the size of a pocket square, people are suddenly dying and no one but a coed with impossibly high knee socks has put two and two together. The audience of course already knows who is behind the recent bout of homicides, but we are also given a few additional details into the life of the Guest. As it turns the one time soldier is a war experiment gone awry and is being hunted down by the CIA or something. The federal agency that is hunting him down is completely incompetent as they manage to shoot off more bullets than the A-Team but our anti-hero walks away with nothing more than a limp. What a story.

Why Sergio hated it: The main reason I hated this film was because it did not subscribe to any one genre. It was never truly scary, or thrilling, or funny… though the film in and of itself is one big joke.

Why Brennan loved it: You can ask him because we have a truce that I not mention this movie in his presence.

[EN: It's true, this film is so divisive that we've had to institute our own Geneva Accord to avoid arguments and personal attacks when it comes up in conversation. Basically the one thing we can agree on is that the knee socks thing is pretty creepy. I won't beleaguer the point here, but read why I enjoyed the film in my review here.]

#3 Only Lovers Left Alive (2014, Jim Jarmusch)

Who showed who: Brennan had previously seen this film with a good buddy of his and recommended it to myself, who waited until Redbox had it for a much more reasonable price.

The latest film to include vampires as its main characters, Only Lovers Left Alive, features dynamo actors Tilda Swinton and Tom Hiddleston as an undead couple whose relationship has withstood the test of time. While there is no plot nor reason to continue watching once Hiddleston has clothes on, the film is a snapshot at the lives of an everyday couple who just happen to be vampires. Though technically lifeless, the two breathe life into the drab setting that is Detroit, Michigan and find themselves as relatable as Jim and Pam or Sam and Diane. They do this not by great deals of affection but by simple and subtle banter that is recognizable by anyone in a relationship in which the two partners are truly at ease with one another.

Why Sergio hated it: I did not hate the film itself. I did dislike the artsy scenes that took up ten minutes at a time which had no dialogue and were simply weird for the sake of weird.

Why Brennan loved it: It had not plot, was his response.

[EN: OK, the artsy scenes made me dizzy. But I enjoyed the simplicity of the exploration of a relationship that has every chance of lasting forever (literally) and how the participants dealt with and engaged with that. And no plot? I could point to a few examples of Sergio's favorite films to show me, but that would be quite rude, wouldn't it? Read my review here.]

#4 Chef (2014, Jon Favreau)

Who showed who: It was a boring Saturday night and I wanted to eat and show Brennan porn so we decided that food porn was the way to go.

Jon Favreau has apparently tired of making Hollywood blockbusters featuring Robert Downey Jr. and decided it would be a good idea to make an indie comedy featuring Robert Downey Jr. if only for a brief cameo performance. In his indie debut Favreau plays a chef who is down on his luck and has recently lost his job due to a Twitter tirade with a food critic. While wallowing in his own self-pity his ex-wife decides that he should accompany her on a trip to Florida to help and watch over their son while she handles business. As it turns out the trip is only a ruse to get him to America’s most backwater state and open up a food truck featuring the tasty Cuban sandwiches that make Scarlett Johansson’s panties drop. Along the way back into society's good graces he manages to reconcile with his wife and become more of a presence in his son’s life as he forces him into unpaid child labor. Just kidding.

Why Sergio loved it: Actually neither of us really liked it. The movie was just the product of a self-satisfied director’s idea and not a very good one. Favreau never had any real problems, certainly no financial ones and though it was a cornucopia for the eyes, the mind didn’t believe any of the script for a second.

Why Brennan hated it: See above.

[EN: If Sergio and I can both agree that a film is a waste of time, maybe you shouldn't watch it. Read my review here. Also, check out the multi-paragraph comment on my review (here), proving that this movie has the power to enrage just about anyone.]

#5 Zac Efron Looking Pretty or That Awkward Moment (2014, Tom Gormican)

Who showed who: Brennan showed me this because he thought the plot would be as glistening as Zac Efron’s abs.

Every generation there comes a movie that shapes the films that follow it for years to come. Brennan would be quick to point out that Friday the 13th changed the slasher genre, and for years following its release there were multiple rip-offs and rip-offs of those rip-offs. That Awkward Moment would be a rip-off to the third or fourth degree. It’s unique in the sense that they convinced Zac Efron to do a virtually nude scene (thus convincing Brennan to sit through it), but beyond that there isn’t much to it beyond young and successful people creating and solving their own problems. In one scene we see Zac not go to his girlfriend’s (or not girlfriend, these kids don’t want to get to into the labels of the people they see 2-3 times a week and have sex with but whatever) father’s funeral because he didn’t want to make too much of a statement. He didn’t understand why she didn’t call him back.

Why Sergio hated it: I loved seeing Zac take a girl from behind but as fulfilling as that was it was not worth sitting through an hour and a half of him being a terrible person and being surprised that people didn’t like him for it.

Why Brennan loved it: Brennan actually hated it as much as me, score!

[EN: Yeah, this film was a bust. I should have known better than to trust a January comedy. And the title is nothing but pandering nonsense by ad execs who think they "get" memes. But at least one good thing came out of it: the soundtrack is rad as hell. Read my review here.]

#6 The Hours (2002, Stephen Daldry)

Who showed who: Try and guess and see below if you think you know your bloggers!

Told through three separate narratives woven together by a singular book, and held together by a bevy of strong female performances, The Hours was obviously my choice for movie day. The film follows the stories of Nicole Kidman, Julianne Moore, and Meryl Streep as women in three separate time periods. Nicole Kidman plays Virginia Woolf as she writes the Mrs. Dalloway, Julianne Moore plays a housewife reading the story in the fifties, and Meryl Streep plays a partnered woman whose good friend (who is dying of AIDS) is a scholar on the novel.

Why Sergio loved it: I really enjoyed the film's pacing and I especially loved the score prepared by Phillip Glass, the man knows drama.

Why Brennan hated it: According to him “It just wasn’t my speed, and I didn’t feel like it really connected”. Colder words have never been spoken.

[EN: As much as I love strong women and AIDS awareness, I just wasn't captivated. Not that I need a decapitation in a film to keep me interested in a drama, but one or two wouldn't have hurt. Read my review here.]

#7 The Human Centipede (2009, Tom Six)

Who showed who: It was a boring night and we both decided it was time to knock one off of our growing Netflix Queue.

I will never quite understand why it is that this movie got as much support as it did. It was not adequately paced, nor was it interesting, or even gory for that fact. It was original to see three human bodies attached to one another by sowing their mouths onto the other’s anus. However, after the novelty wears off this movie is nothing more than a showpiece that lacks any plot, interesting characters, or centipedes.

Why Sergio hated it: For the same reasons Brennan did.

Why Brennan hated it: For the same reasons Sergio did.

[EN: Yeah, I'm pretty sure centipedes have more than 12 legs, but maybe we've all been brainwashed by our commie propaganda schoolhouses. This movie sucked. It's not outrageous, gory, secretly satirical, or whatever words the people who love it use as defensive shields. It's just boring and pointless. Always remember that it was Sergio's idea to watch this. Don't listen to what he says otherwise. Read my review here.]

#8 Cards of Death (1986, W. G. MacMillan)

[EN: In the preservation of artistic integrity, I included the photo Sergio originally intended to accompany this piece, but to avoid confusion, here's the real promo photo for Cards of Death.

Do you get why he might have wanted to go another direction?]

Who showed who: Brennan had heard of a movie that had never seen the light of day and had to watch it, and so began our journey of traveling to LA to watch Cards of Death. He also paid for the ticket.

Cards of Death is an interesting piece of filmography because it was lost to the sands of time and only recently made available for viewer consumption. I fell asleep halfway through it so I can’t in good conscience describe the plot, but I remember there was an impaling, a woman who does a great Harley Quinn impression, and a twist ending of sorts. Count your blessings that the odds of your viewing this cinematic masterpiece are slim to none.

Why Sergio hated it: I didn’t watch it fully, so I cannot say that I hated it.

Why Brennan loved it: He saw it as the love child of a dedicated man.

[EN: Yeah, well it's not like this shot-on-video crime slasher was ever going to be good, but darn if it isn't fascinating. Sergio certainly has less love for the "at least you tried" genre than I do, but I enjoyed the film's use of color and gung-ho attitude. Even if it was a piece of crap. Read my review here.]

#9 Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008, Nicholas Stoller)

Who Showed who: I will proudly boast that I love the bro-medies of the world, and so I showed this to Brennan not only for the film's humor (which is on point… or on fleek, I forget which we’re using now) but for Hawaii’s picturesque landscapes.

The man behind the Muppets movie, Jason Segel, got some practice in writing and starring alongside puppets in the 2008 comedy Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Segel plays a composer who recently broke up with his longtime girlfriend Sarah Marshall played by Kristen Bell. To get over the demise of his relationship he does what any average working stiff would do, buy a one way ticket to Hawaii, and show up at a random hotel with no particular goal in mind. Unbeknownst to Segel, his ex and her new rock star boyfriend (played by Russell Brand) are staying in the exact same hotel where crazy antics are sure to occur. Whereas humorous antics do indeed go down, the film is a success through its use of minor characters and their razor sharp one-liners. Kristen Wiig, Paul Rudd, Bill Hader, Jack McBrayer and of course Mila Kunis carry this seemingly average film into above average heights.

Why Sergio loved it: I loved it for this beautiful one liner “Oh, the weather outside is weather!” When you watch the movie it will make more sense.

Why Brennan hated it: He didn’t hate it. He enjoyed it and laughed alongside me. You’re welcome, Brennan!

[EN: Methinks Sergio is suppressing some bad memories because I distinctly remember complaining about the movie's misogyny, but it's true that the comedy had a lot to offer that wasn't blistering criticism of female sexual agency. Read my review here.]

#10 The Wolf of Wall Street (2013, Martin Scorsese)

Who showed who: I showed Brennan because it was award season and why not?

It wouldn’t be an Oscar season without a Scorsese epic that critics proclaim as a masterpiece without question, and 2013 gave us The Wolf of Wall Street. Leonardo Dicaprio plays a stockbroker with questionable ethics and nonexistent morals. TWoWS works best as a series of short stories that guys tell their pals at a bar, not necessarily as a three hour long narrative that is filled with every racist, sexist, and homophobic slur in the book. The movie gets a pass because it is so far-fetched that there is no reason to be angry at what can be described as a movie that is a satire of itself.

Why Sergio loved it: I enjoyed making fun of Matthew McConaughey for a couple weeks after that, so that counts for something.

Why Brennan hated it: It was three hours long, that’s the amount of time he could have used to watch five slashers.

[EN: Boy does Sergio know me. I always say, if it can't be said in 90 minutes or less, it's probably not worth saying. Read my review here.]

So there goes another Sergio classic! I hope you all enjoyed yourselves! Do you think he is a valiant defender of good taste? Do you think I'm a stalwart champion of non-arid cinema? Let me know whose side you're on in the comments below!
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Shannon Speaks: Cinema du Weird

Having bored friends is great for providing content. Today my good friend Shannon returns after the glowing success of her first Popcorn Culture feature with a piece about weirdness on film.

Let’s be honest: most people value their time and decide to spend it only watching fun, entertaining, insightful films. And then there’s Brennan, who gets an equal kick out of wasting, I mean investing, his time in any movie, almost purposefully being drawn to especially bad ones. I mentioned in my last submission to Brennan’s glorious blog that Brennan and I have watched some pretty strange movies together… some of which were his fault and some of which were not. Still, I thought that I should write another post and this time feature some of these movies that put the horrible in horror. Here are the five weirdest movies I have ever watched with Brennan, enjoy!

[EN: I do not endorse that ALL of these movies are horrible. Disclaimer: The opinions represented in this post do not necessarily reflect those of the blog author.]

The Five Weirdest Movies Brennan Has Made Me Watch

#5 Pieces (1982, dir. Juan Picquer Simón)

Brennan is always better at explaining this than I am, but essentially this movie is the Tacatá of movies, because like the club hit (and one of Brennan's and my favorite jams), it is a movie performed in one language but made by men from a different country who really have no need or business making a movie in a different, non-native language. It would be like if Brennan and I deciding to accomplish both our film homework and our Spanish homework in one project. Basically, it just sucks. So the dialogue in this movie is horrible, or amazing, depending on how you look at it.

[EN: Amazing is how I look at it. Pieces is one of the more electrifying bad movies with gonzo performances and a bonkers final shot. You can look forward to seeing it soon in Census Bloodbath!]

#4 Suspiria (1977, dir. Dario Argento)

Brennan and I watched this when I arrived home after a weekend Ultimate Frisbee tournament, and I was spent. So naturally I fell dead asleep in the middle of this horror classic. But even the fifteen minutes (give or take) that I saw of the movie was enough to dub this one of the weirdest movies. All I remember is ballet, (which is weird enough) and a girl getting thrown out of a window into a room full of needles. Why does a ballet academy have a room chock-full of needles? I would find that kind of need-less, wouldn’t you? (har har). But then again, when you have a ballet studio run by witches, I feel like needles would be the least of their worries.

[EN: Oh Shannon, your puns are worse than my dad's. This is the one film on this list that I view as an artistic masterwork. You can check out my review here.]

#3 The Wizard of Gore (1970, dir. Herschell Gordon Lewis)

I was really excited to see this movie! Brennan got it off of Netflix as a gift watch for me because he knew that I love the 2009 indie hit Juno, in which the main characters have a rather heated discussion comparing Dario Argento movies (Suspiria, see above) to Herschel Gordon Lewis movies, specifically The Wizard of Gore. As it was said in Juno, The Wizard of Gore did indeed have “buckets of goo.” However, it also had a thin plot and lots of loooooooong monologues by the Wizard himself. Instead of a heart, or a brain, or courage, this Wizard only awarded major gaping saw wounds in his “volunteers.” The adaptation is equally weird, but I think more entertaining, and not as slow.

[EN: You're welcome Shannon for showing you all the Juno films. Check out my review of Wizard of Gore here and its remake here.]

#2 Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966, dir. Harold P. Warren)

The camera could only take 27 seconds of film at a time. That should be enough to put this on the list, but you may as well add the overall weirdness of the plot and the strange Dracula-esque dude who collects wives like polygamy was going out of style. The ending of Manos is unfortunately amazing, which makes me kind of sad that I put this on the list, but then again this movie is indeed really freaking weird, so here it will stay.

[EN: Not for nothing is Manos the most popular episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. If you don't know what that show is, click here and thank me later.]

#1 Bubba Ho-Tep (2002, dir. Don Coscarelli)

Elvis is alive. John F. Kennedy was turned black by the government in an effort to keep him protected from another assassination attempt. They are room neighbors in a nursing home, where a cursed bug thing is killing old people. All of that was fine, but the fact that Bubba (Elvis) talked about how sad he was that his *ahem* “richard” no longer worked and was rather graphic in describing what was wrong with it just made the rest of the movie abhorrent. I DETEST THIS STUPID MOVIE. I WANT THOSE TWO HOURS OF MY LIFE BACK.

[EN: I would like to add that, in addition to the attention lavished upon Elvis' dick, a campy premise is played absolutely straight in the most stultifying manner possible. But Roger Ebert loved it so what do I know? Check out my review here.]

BONUS: Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild! (2008, dir. Todd Stephens)

Brennan and I, in our first semester of college, got really into the American Pie series, binge-watching them all. After we finished the very heterosexual American Pies, we decided to compare it to the gay parody series called Another Gay Movie. The first movie was okay, making cheap jokes at the stereotypes of gay males and even the one lesbian in the film, but overall it was ridiculous and still fun. However, Brennan and I popped in the sequel to the already bad movie and watched it for less than five minutes before taking it out of the DVD player.

It just couldn’t be done. Keep in mind that Brennan and I sat through all the horrible movies listed above and pretty much enjoyed them (other than Bubba Ho-Tep), so the context should speak volumes about how gosh-darn horrible Another Gay Sequel was. You want a real, terrifying horror? Think about the fact that some people actually were able to sit through the entire movie. Now that’s scary.

[EN: There is no scientific evidence available that anybody has seen this film through to completion, not even the filmmakers. It might even close with 45 minutes of blackness. The world will never know.]

Fin!
Word Count: 1140

My Boyfriend's Back

I'm looking into encouraging a lot more people to write - it's just such an incredibly fun experience that nobody seems to get anymore. So, inspired by last week's appearance by my friend Shannon on the pages of this blog, I encouraged my wonderful boyfriend Sergio to submit an article. It has been a running theme on this blog that our tastes are very different and I wanted him to argue for his side of things. He asked me to stick in an editorial here and there so everyone can see how much better his taste is than my own. Enjoy!

It was a fine Spring day when I met Brennan Matthew Klein on the banks of the Mississippi River. He was preparing to board a ferry boat that would take him west toward the Appalachian Trail, where he would begin his journey across all fifty states that would make or break his writing career. I’m of course only fooling, I met Brennan when he (rudely and unapologetically) bumped his chair into me at school, on January 29, 2014. I had no idea when I met this spritely young Irish/German/French lad that I would eventually sign on to what has been the best relationship of my young adult life. Sappiness aside, the boy has a thing for talking pictures and has made me watch my fair share of them since our first date.

[EN: For the record I was not rude OR unapologetic and he immediately ran away.]

Unfortunately for Brennan, he has a VERY specific taste for his idea of a good movie. As you may have already noticed, he loves Horror, which has been the bulk of his reviews thus far. Luckily, I have found ways to convince him to watch movies from other genres and, as a result, add diversity to his bland, blood-soaked palette. Under my tutelage and the use of various weights keeping him tethered to the ground, he has seen quite a few of my ‘indie dramas with strong female leads,’ as he affectionately describes them.

Thanks to his dear friend Shannon, who wrote a lovely piece on date nights and horror flicks, he asked me to compile a list of some of my films to showcase on his blog. Because not all of my suggestions fall under his label, I have dubbed this post "Nine Films for Nine Nonconsecutive Dates". 

Enjoy, Brenbots!

Nine Films for Nine Nonconsecutive Dates

#1 Ghost Town (2008, David Koepp)

With a budget of about $20 million I know this is not by any means an independent film, but with a box office of only $27 million, its net revenue qualifies it as such.

[EN: Sergio, your Econ major is showing.]

Ghost Town is a movie that follows the life of a dentist, Bertram Pincus (Ricky Gervais) who suddenly finds himself with the ability to see dead people. Upon his travels with the newly deceased, he runs into the ghost of a schmuck businessman, Frank Herlihy (Greg Kinnear) who wants him to interfere with his wife’s (Tea Loni) new relationship. With a runtime of 102 minutes, the movie is a great way to spend an afternoon laughing at Gervais shtick or the comedic stylings of Kristin Wiig, who shines in her small but laugh-packed role. The movie is a heartwarming comedy that can move even the most bloodthirsty horror fanatics to tears (that’s right, Brennan cried) and for five dollars on Amazon, it is most definitely a great buy.

[EN: The movies I decided to watch on our very first "stay in" date were Ghost Town, [REC], and The Devil Wears Prada so don't say I don't have diversity in my tastes. Ghost Town is one of my top 10 favorite movies of all time. And I'm not ashamed to admit it made me cry. Very few films can accomplish this, but Ghost Town and The Sixth Sense are two of them. Don't look at me like that. Also, yes that is a young Aaron Tveit in that screencap. Meow.]

#2 Winter’s Bone (2010, Debra Granik)

The film that launched Jennifer Lawrence’s career into the stratosphere features her as Ree Dolly, a girl who is responsible for her younger siblings and invalid mother in the Ozark Mountains of Missouri. The film starts off slowly, painting a picture of an average day in the life of Ree and her family, but picks up running when Ree finds out that her father has skipped town and posted their family home as collateral for his bail. Ree knows the types of unsavory characters that her father (and extended family) associated with and begins her trek to try and find him. Besides the fact that she is eventually joined by  her uncle played by John Hawkes, that is as much as I will give away about this movie. My only criticism of the film is that there are far too many blue tones. I get it, Missouri sucks.

[EN: This is the one film that Sergio has suggested to me so far that I just can't get into in any way. It's a lovely-looking piece, but I never connected with Ree's journey. I prefer my characters with more personal agency, but I know I'm in the minority with not being a fan of this film. You can read my review here.]

#3 A Single Man (2009, Tom Ford)

Tom Ford’s only movie to date is a little gem that packs great performances by its all star cast. Colin Firth, Julianne Moore, Nicholas Hoult, Matthew Goode are featured, and even Lee Pace makes a cameo discussing bomb shelters and setting the mood that is the Cold War era of the early 1960’s.

Ford adapted the film from the novel of the same name by Christopher Isherwood and follows Firth’s character as he attempts to move past the loss of his partner (Matthew Goode). Though not necessarily somber, A Single Man depicts life as a gay male in the sixties as a less than ideal situation. In one scene, an uncreditided Jon Hamm has just delivered the news that Firth’s partner died in a car wreck, and that Firth would be an unwelcome funeral guest due to his being Goode’s Partner. This movie is anything but subtle and in the era of Mad Men it is a welcome addition, adding more emotion in a single still than January Jones' entire performance of Betty Draper.

[EN: I was mystified by the film's ending, but impressed with its un-self conscious and bold aesthetic. You can read my review here.]

#4 An Education (2009, Lone Scherfig)

Carey Mulligan plays a precocious high school senior (or the British equivalent) who is planning on attending Oxford in the fall. She asks herself the sort of questions that all young adults ask themselves at some point or another. Why am I doing what my parents tell me? What is the end goal of all this intense studying? I’m a female in the sixties (yes another one, I’m sorry), my only job opportunities are becoming a teacher or a secretary, why even bother? Ok, that last one is a question that thankfully today’s female youth does not have to ask themselves, but the theme of being young, foolish, and reckless is one that is any young college kid can relate to.

[EN: I honestly have never seen this one and, as such, can have no opinion. Especially considering the fact that I definitely thought this was a Holocaust movie, which it doesn't seem to be.]

#5 Doubt (2008, John Patrick Shanley)

Never have I ever been more afraid of nuns than when Meryl Streep played Sister Aloyisious, a nun who runs her parish with an iron fist. The movie begins with the suspicion that a priest (Phillip Seymour Hoffman) has been more than friendly with one of the students at the Catholic school. Streep is a nun, and like all nuns she answers to the priests of the Parish and must find a way to remove the student from the watchful eye of the priest without ‘stepping out of line’. Featuring additional performances by Amy Adams and Viola Davis, the movie leaves you guessing as to who you hate more: Meryl Streep for ruining a man’s career without a shred of proof, Hoffman who is the potential pedophile in question, or Davis for essentially being a mother who is willing to sacrifice her child’s innocence if it means he advances academically. I left Amy Adams out because no one can hate Princess Gisele.

I warn you that this movie is not for everyone. Described as “Streep porn,” if you found yourself in the audience that disliked August: Osage County, then I suggest you go another route and watch The Exorcist. It has nuns and guts, what’s not to like about that?

[EN: Ah, the first time I can chime in seeming like an expert. Unfortunately The Exorcist has neither nuns nor guts, but it does have doubt, a priest, and the unparalleled exorcism scene that you've seen poorly recreated in (insert modern possession movie here), so I highly recommend it. You can expect a review of Doubt coming soon, as Sergio is sending in a high pressure front to convince me to watch it.]

#6 Weekend (2011, Andrew Haigh)

Writer/Director Andrew Haigh hit a homerun when he released this earnest yet gritty gay indie film. What makes this film special in the world of LGBTQIA cinema (I’m sure there are more letters but I’m just not that progressive), is that at its core, the movie is a love story where the main characters happen to be gay. That’s it. There is no gripping coming out process, no ‘woe is me’ attitude, just two men with fantastic facial hair who fall in love in the course of a weekend. I will warn you that the film features graphic sex scenes between newcomers Chris New and Tom Cullen, but if you’ve seen Game of Thrones or Orange is The New Black, then you have been adequately prepared for the beauty that is man-on-man sex.

[EN: Weekend was a great film! I watched it over a year ago with our guest star, so its unfortunately outside the scope of this blog until I watch it again and have it fresh in my mind, but I agree with Sergio and highly recommend it. It's like a gay Once without the music.]

#7 Insidious (2010, James Wan)

Fun fact: This is the first horror film that I showed Brennan. He, of course, had many things to say about everything and I of course adore him for his criticism of James Wan.

With a budget of only 1.5 million dollars, the movie manages to pull off scary while avoiding cheesy… mostly. The film follows the ruggedly handsome family guy Patrick Wilson and his beautiful wife Rose Byrne as they settle into their new home with their average looking kids when things start to go awry. According to Mr. Klein, P.I. (Paranormal Investigator) the film follows in the footsteps of Poltergeist and The Exorcist, but I find it delightful just the same. Whatever your take on his filmmaking, Wan provides you with a cheaply made movie that will sustain your interest far more than the Michael Bay’s Robots Do Things.

[EN: I'm so lucky Sergio liked horror films before I met him. He's obviously more low key than Yours Truly, but I'm grateful for his contributions. And he's right. Insidious is an immensely derivative haunted house film - much like Wan's 2013 effort The Conjuring - but like The Conjuring, is a terrific example of the classic form utilizing its influences to elevate the material. And it's one of the scariest horror films rated PG-13 you'll find this side of 1960. You can read my review here.]

#8 In a World... (2013, Lake Bell)

A film that Brennan begged and pleaded to go see last year, this is a gem of a film featuring the crowd-pleasing Lake Bell who starred, wrote, and directed the entire production. In a World... follows Bell as she attempts to break into the voice-over world, which is primarily dominated by men. It’s a quirky feminist comedy that delivers a breath of fresh air into a room of old man dank. There are multiple definitions for the word ‘dank’ and this one encompasses them all, that’s just how smelly that room is. It might be too late to catch this movie on RedBox but you always find it On Demand or borrow it from Brennan. He will be only too happy to spend hours discussing it with you and what a fool (with your pants on the ground) you are for having waited so long to see it. You have been warned.

[EN: For the record, you are not a fool, but you do need to see this movie. It's my number 3 film of 2013 and a delightful comedy that I can rewatch endlessly. You can read my glowing review here.]

#9 Paranormal Activity (2007, Oren Peli)

This one is purely for Brennan. I hated it, but it is an independent film where the main actress kills everyone and if that doesn’t qualify it as an ‘indie film with a strong female lead’ than I don’t know what does.

[EN: I'm a big fan of the franchise despite my immense (and supported) hatred for PA4 and my intense (and divisive) dislike for PA3. I'll have to do a retrospective of the original trilogy soon. Let me know if that sounds like something you'd be into.]

That's it. I'm done. I hope that you found I have convinced you better than I have convinced Brennan to try out new movies. This has been a blog post by me, Shawn Ashmore. Hah, Brennan wishes.

[EN: What? Shawn Ashmore? Wherever would anybody get that idea? Clap clap for Sergio. Thank you for your contribution! So everyone? Do you agree? Do you disagree? Do you think I'm a fool for ignoring Meryl Streep's expanded filmography? Please let us know in the comments!]
Word Count: 2346

Surprise Cameo

It's been a while since I've featured another writer on the pages of this blog, but why be stingy? It's always nice to have a guest star. Today's very special article introduces Shannon, one of my very best friends, in her Popcorn Culture debut as she writes about her introduction to horror (I am not ashamed to admit that I appear heavily in this tale) and why scary movies make the perfect date nights, along with some personal recommendations.

Horror with your Honey: 

Why a Week of Scary Movie Dates are Beneficial to a Relationship, and Where to Start

I had never seen a single horror movie before meeting Brennan Klein. All of a sudden, by signing a contact of friendship, I was his go-to movie date for all the classics and everything in between (Literally everything, I cannot tell you the weird horror movies I have seen thanks to him— not complaining).

Luckily (or so I thought), Brennan met someone else who is now responsible for watching horror movies from Spain about someone chopping pieces of students and then piecing them back together into a monster. Initially I was slightly relieved to pass the torch to his boo, but now, in reflection, I miss him dragging me into a movie starring Lee Pace with a title I had never heard of.

[Editor's note: She is referring to Pieces and Possession, the former a great/terrible slasher movie and the latter a decent psychological ghost/possession piece.]

Why?

Because if you and another person were stranded on an island, in scary, deadly conditions, and you get rescued, only that other person can understand the trauma you went through, and thus you and that person have a magical, singular bond because of a horrific experience.

Brennan and I became best friends because we went through the mini-traumas that these horror movies are. Horror is like a roller coaster that pumps adrenaline and dopamine into our systems, and we get off the ride a little closer than before.

So, when you reach that part of your relationship when you are looking at Fandango trying to decide between a sappy romance or some indie flick with subtitles, close your browser and turn on Netflix, because nothing could be better for a relationship than a solid injection of horror.

Now whether you are a horror movie buff like Brennan, a gorehound like me, or a novice on the scary front like I was two years ago, these movies I have selected hit a multitude of the bases.

Allow me to introduce the perfect introduction-horror-movie-date-night-movies!

Movie Cluster #1 : The original trifecta of horror, and its sequel

(watch in this order for the best effect)

Day 1:

Halloween (1978, dir. John Carpenter)

Why this movie: 

Horror movies used to be about tiny budgets, shadows, and masks. John Carpenter (who I met with Brennan) knows this better than anyone else, and which is why the rather tame, theatrical Halloween is my first choice. You get an introduction to the Scream Queen (now better known for her Activia commercials) Jamie Lee Curtis, get to look evil in it’s face, and is not scary enough to make you want to give up on horror as a genre.

Day 2:

Friday the 13th (1980, dir. Sean S. Cunningham)

Why this movie (Writing about this one without spoilers is hard): 

While this movie is no Revenge of the Unhappy Campers (if you have seen that movie, email me), it is the greatest introduction, and arguably just the greatest camp-genre horror movie. One of a major aspects of the horror genre in general is the fact that people are in a contained area when the monster decides to pick off victims one-by-one, and what better buffet is there than kids at a summer camp? Plus, Kevin Bacon is in it. Just watch it.

[EN: For my lengthy review of this film, click here.]

Day 3:

A Nightmare on Elm Street (THE ORIGINAL ONE) (1984, dir. Wes Craven)

Why this movie: 

Wes Craven (who I also met with Brennan) has a really weird mind, as you will see in this movie. Unlike Halloween which is a psychological slasher and Friday which is a classic camp kid killing spree, Nightmare goes beyond the fathomable, into a world one could only dream of— or should I say nightmare. Freddy Krueger is probably the most well known of the three horror baddie front runners, maybe for his complex past or simply his use of wonderful puns. Or maybe it’s because he’s the only one of the three that actually speaks… Also, young Johnny Depp.

[EN: For my lengthy review of this film, click here.]

Day 4:

Scream (1996, dir. Wes Craven)

Why this movie: 

Kevin Williamson basically wrote fan fiction about the three original horror classics and Wes Craven made it amazing. Craven reintroduced horror in the 90s. I was one of those kids who had no idea why everyone was so obsessed with ghost face costumes (keep in mind that I didn’t see a horror film until college) and now I am so bummed because I want to own one. I guess that’s what the internet is for… But in all seriousness, Scream is a perfect watch for a couple who just watched the original three, because together you can point out the references to other horror films that this movie makes, and point out all the stars who were just kids back then, and point out most importantly the horrible 90s fashion.

[For my lengthy review of this film, click here.]

Movie Cluster #2: The other bases (watch any order, but be prepared)

Day 5:

They Live (1988, dir. John Carpenter)

Why this movie: Some of the different subgenres in horror are torture porn (sorry, not covering this one in this feature), monster, slasher, and psychological thriller. So no, I did not pick this movie simply because it is one of my all-time favorite movies, but also because this bad-ass action/thriller/monster movie has the most incredible freaky monsters ever, with an additionally creepy Carpenter commentary on the state of the country. Also you know Shepard Fairey’s “OBEY Propaganda” line? Originated from this movie. BOOM HISTORY MADE.

Day 6:

You’re Next (2013, dir. Adam Wingard)

Why this movie: 

Modern day badass Australian chick visits her boyfriend's family and they start getting killed off in their old family house. It’s essentially a great survival story up to par with classic horror but without the horrible 80s hair-dos.

[For my review of this film, click here.]

Day 7:

The Exorcist (1973, dir. William Friedkin)

Why this movie: 

In my opinion, this is the scariest of them all. This is a possession/ghost sort of horror film, and a classic one at that. For it being the oldest on the list, this movie has the most intense special effects. It is also super perfect for couples, because every time someone decides to walk up those stairs, you will need a hand to hold. And then once the credits roll, you two can both celebrate surviving the possession of Linda Blair.

This concludes the introduction to horror and the conception of a long lasting relationship.

And if things don’t work out, maybe you could use some of the skills you’ve learned from these horror films for other things… 

Thanks for reading, everybody! If you have any opinions on these picks and/or how a horror movie has changed your relationship, please sound off in the comments below. I'm sure Shannon will be patrolling the comments section like a mad hound. If any of these films have piqued your interest, I can offer further recommendations. Have a nice day!

Word Count: 1281

And Now, A Very Special Episode of Popcorn Culture

Today is a great day. Not only do I get to showcase the writing of a cohort of mine, I don't have to do as much work!

Today's post is brought to you by my partner in blogging, Penelope Queerwater. The only hand I had in this was some minor formatting. As promised, I present to you

The Top 10 Most Gay Marryable California Actresses

Like Brennan promised, here is the list of the top ten most gay marry-able leading ladies who were born in Californi-gay. I, Penelope Queerwater, will be your guide into the few things Brennan actually doesn't know much about. Specifically, vagina affairs and synchronized swimming. (Synchronized swimming is a complete mystery to him.) Ready? OK!

Basically, I am willing to forget the previously declared sexual orientations, the supposed relationships already in place, and the fact that I am not at all ready to be that committed to someone and say "Hey, Gay's Okay now, so let's have a Gay old time and get married." …Ladies.

#10 Allison Scagliotti

Hometown: Monterey

Known For: Warehouse 13, Drake and Josh

My dear, dear Aly Scags. Originally I fell in love with her character Claudia Donovan on Warehouse 13, because Claud is edgy and cool and witty and basically who I want as a girlfriend, but alas her character gets slightly dumber around boys, like a lot of women characters do. BUT everything is okay because Aly is apparently even cooler than her character and is crazy into music AND a huge supporter of the LGBT+ community. 

#9 Emma Caulfield

Hometown: San Diego

Known For: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I don't think I've seen her in anything from this decade but I DON'T CARE. She's the actress who played Anya, my favorite character on Buffy, and guess what, she's still rather hilarious and gorgeous and I miss her on my television screen. So yeah, Anya.

#8 Alex Breckenridge

Hometown: Mill Valley

Known For: American Horror Story, She's the Man

Basically, this woman is captivating. Anyone who has seen the first season of American Horror Story would agree, because she plays the seductive maid who is always trying to get in Dylan McDermott's pants, even if it means a steamy scene between her and Mena Suvari. I am definitely not complaining. Suddenly, when people make jokes about role play in maid's uniforms, I get it, because if every maid's uniform came with an Alex Breckenridge, I would stay home to watch my house get cleaned more.

#7 Kaley Cuoco

Hometown: Camarillo

Known For: The Big Bang Theory, Being the Negotiator's daughter on TV

I jumped on the cookoo for cuoco train after laughing at the Big Bang Theory while being amazed that someone could actually bring back the 90's midriff. (Seriously, why did that ever go out of style?). Kaley reminds me of Britney Spears in her younger, prior to the Meltdown of 2007 days. Can you see it? Kinda? And just think, if Madonna and Britney could kiss, who knows what could happen in 2013. Oh wait, I do! Marriage.

#6 Lizzy Caplan

Hometown: Los Angeles

Known For: Mean Girls, New Girl, Cloverfield

Lizzy Caplan, I have a BIG LESBIAN CRUSH ON YOU.

#5 Kristen Stewart

Hometown: Los Angeles

Known For: Twilight, The Runaways

I am not going to insist that a person's sexual orientation is not what they say it is, because it's up to the person blah blah blah BUT I solidly believe that KStew's most believable role is when she played Joan Jett in The Runaways. And who doesn't want to be the girl to walk down the aisle to KStew, though I wouldn't doubt if Charlize Theron proposed to her first.

#4 Mae Whitman

Hometown: Los Angeles

Known For: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Arrested Development

I was bi-furious prior to the prop 8 repeal yesterday. Now I'm in lesbians with everyone- legally. Mae Whitman is going to be a big deal real soon, so better to get married before she takes off, right?

#3 Alia Skawcat

Hometown: Riverside

Known For: Arrested Development, Whip It

Must I say it? MARRY ME. I hope that the fact that gay marriage is now legal won't take the taboo out of our relationship… or maybe I can rig ancestry.com to say that we're also cousins.

#2 Krysta Rodriguez

Hometown: Orange

Known For: Smash, The Addams Family Musical, a Dominoes commercial

When I saw Krysta on broadway starring as Wednesday in the Addams Family Musical, I was pulled in a new direction. Brennan's New York love was Andy "Floppy" Mientus, and mine was Krysta. What can I say? I get talent lady boners, and KRod's belt makes my hair stand on end. If I had lived in New York when gay marriage was legalized I would have asked her then, but now I just have to wait for her to come this way. KRYSTA DO MORE ACTOR-Y THINGS IN LA.

#1 Jennifer Aniston

Hometown: Los Angeles

Known For: Friends, being divorced by Brad Pitt

Look, Jennifer is the older version of Taylor Swift without the sappy love songs that I admittedly can't get out of my head. One of the reasons her relationships just haven't worked out is that she hasn't found the right… sexual orientation. Come to the dyke side, Jenn. We have vegan cookies.

And there you have it. May all your marriages, and my imaginary ones be magical.

~Penelope Queerwater 6/28/2013
Word Count: 913