Census Bloodbath: Pearnaked Ladies

Note: The only copy of this Turkish movie I could find was unsubtitled, so take my review with a grain of salt.

Year:
1988
Director:
Bülent Pelit
Cast:
Halim Kurtoğlu, Semra Arik, Yasemin Türe
Run Time:
1 hour 7 minutes

Plot: Psikopat (AKA Psychopath) follows a pear-loving psychopath (Halim Kurtoğlu) whose urge to strangle is triggered by his sexual urges, thanks to a violent incident from his childhood where he witnessed his father killing his mother and her lover, then himself, after catching the pair in bed together. The police work to try and catch the murderer, whose calling card is leaving half-eaten pears at the crime scene. This doesn't seem to be on purpose. I think he just likes pears, but never finishes them because he is constantly being distracted by murder. Anyway, yes, the police are on the case with the help of Zelma (Semra Arik), a dancer that escaped the killer's clutches, who he is still trying to track down.

Analysis: There's really not a whole lot to Psikopat. For the most part, the movie gently oscillates between scenes of the killer watching some woman or other while bugging his eyes out and the police looking mildly baffled at pears.

It's also not particularly slasher-y, when all is said and done. There is not a single edged weapon to be seen over the course of the entire movie. While this is somewhat disappointing as a gorehound, strangler movies still very much count for this project (and the Yugoslavian movie Strangler vs. Strangler is even pretty great). 

At the very least, thanks to the high number of strangulations, the kills in this very cheap movie look relatively convincing. Even though the killer's victims take an alarmingly short time to asphyxiate. They must all have been heavy smokers.

On top of that, Psikopat actually looks quite good for an international slasher of its vintage. Early on, I noticed that the lighting felt crisp, with good contrast, even though the VHS-quality version I was watching was hardly a thing of beauty in and of itself. Cinematographer Ali Ugur is hardly a Janusz Kamiński or even a Daniel Pearl, but he knows how to present an image. As the film goes on, he throws more and more striking frames into the mix, including a beautiful moment of the killer backlit with a red glow while the eyes of the woman he's leaning over are reflected in the compact mirror that she's holding.

The movie also boasts a hell of a chase scene, where Zelma and the killer end up engaging in a frantic tug of war over the rope that is used to operate the front door of her apartment building. All in all, it's a pretty good time.

That's not to say that Psikopat is perfect. Hell, it's not even technically good. For instance, the Final Girl sequence is a big wet fart that splutters to a halt after giving Zelma nothing to do, and the movie's attempts at eroticism are awkward at best (Zelma dances serenely while the killer mounts her friend on the floor in one memorable scene). However, it is fleet-footed and far better than I could have possibly expected, so I'm hardly complaining over here.

Killer: The Psychopath (Halim Kurtoğlu)

Final Girl: Zelma (Semra Arik)

Best Kill: I guess I'll pick the one where the woman is garroted with a phone cord, both because it's a bit retro and it's the one of the only kills that uses an M.O. that is significantly different from the others.

Sign of the Times: This is definitely the only slasher I've seen where the killer dons a sweatsuit and exercises to Eurhythmics' "Sweet Dreams."

Scariest Moment: Zelma's chase scene, babyyyyyy!

Weirdest Moment: The inspector sniffs an empty glass at a crime scene and goes "blech" at the smell of the alcohol that the killer was drinking.

Champion Dialogue: N/A

Body Count: 11

1. Mother's Lover is shot by Father.
2. Mother is shot by Father.
3. Father is shot by Father.
4. Mirik is strangled.
5. Blonde Woman is strangled.
6. Couch Woman is garroted with a phone cord.
7. Park Man is strangled.
8. Park Woman is strangled.
9. Sauna Lady is drowned in a pool.
10. Dressing Room Lady is strangled.
11. The Psychopath is stabbed in the back by Zelma's Roommate.

TL;DR: Psikopat is not a particularly remarkable serial killer thriller, but it's better than it really has any right to be.

Rating: 4/10