Women In Horror Month: Scream Queens

Man, February is just rocketing by, isn't it? Here's one more post for Women in Horror Month before we say hello to March!

THE TOP TEN HORROR ACTRESSES

#10 Ingrid Bolsø Berdal (Cold Prey, Cold Prey 2, Chernobyl Diaries)

OK, I don't think there's anybody alive and conscious who thought Chernobyl Diaries was a good movie. But this Norwegian actress deserves as much exposure as she can get. Her character Jannicke didn't earn the #7 spot on my Top Final Girls list for no reason. Berdal manages to infuse her character with a dignity and passion that is far superior to what most American actresses in similar roles have been trying to achieve for over three decades now.

#9 Sigourney Weaver (Alien, Aliens, Ghostbusters)

'Nuff said. Sigourney Weaver didn't spend a lot of time in horror outside of the Alien franchise, but when she was here she absolutely killed it, providing one of the most memorable protagonists in horror history in a film that most people my age don't even have the attention spans to sit through. That's some staying power right there.

#8 Elsa Lanchester (Bride of Frankenstein)

Fun Fact: The Bride of Frankenstein only appears in one movie. And she's only in that one for about 45 seconds. The fact that this character has been so permanently etched into the minds of the public is due entirely to Lanchester's no-holds-barred horror performance as an inhuman creature who reacts with pure visceral horror at the visage of her similarly created husband. She has later stated that she based her performance on the movements of geese so you know she's a great and insightful actress because geese are the freaking devil.

#7 Sissy Spacek (Carrie, The Ring Two)

I'm sorry Chloë Grace Moretz, but y'all ain't got nothing on Sissy. The perfect outsider, her Carrie is angular and weird in a subtly intense way that could only happen in high school.

#6 Zelda Rubinstein (Poltergeist, Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon)

Honestly, I can't even tell if she's a great actress because I'm too distracted with being terrified by her voice. But that high tremulous voice is the most perfect fit for horror I've ever heard and the casting director who hired her for Poltergeist can expect a lavish Edible Arrangement at his or her doorstep from yours truly any day now.

#5 Tippi Hedren (The Birds)

I've frequently discussed my love for The Birds on this blog, so I won't belabor my point here. Just remember that this smoky blonde provides a chewy caramel center for all the avian ridiculousness and grounds the horror in a real, imperfect, but perfectly relatable character.

#4 Toni Collette (The Sixth Sense, Fright Night)

Poor Toni has been playing bedraggled mothers for decades at this point. All I can say though is that she does a great job at it. Her scene in the end of The Sixth Sense where her son relays a message from her deceased mother is one of the only film scenes that never fails to make me cry. She is the single best element of a great film that elevates it above what could have been a simple ghost story into a supremely satisfying family drama as well.

#3 Jessica Lange (American Horror Story)

Jessica Lange, man. Her late career shift to horror came out of nowhere, but this diva has a wicked streak as broad as Ryan Murphy's paycheck. She flawlessly habits characters as far ranging as a drunken neighbor to a drunken nun to a drunken witch. All kidding aside, Lange's acting prowess is as compelling as an electromagnet.

#2 Jamie Lee Curtis (Halloween, Halloween II, The Fog, Prom Night, Terror Train)

Another gimme. Jamie Lee Curtis is responsible for basically the entire decade of the 80's and is the single best actress to ever carry the Final Girl mantle. Beautiful but not overwhelmingly so. Compelling but not pretentiously so. Jamie Lee occupies that space exactly in between Oscar pandering and method acting. She's nothing but entirely real.

#1 Frances Conroy (American Horror Story)

Frances Conroy is a trouper. Given the most nonsensical character in the third season, she managed to make it her own and spawn a veritable army of internet memes in her wake. She throws herself with hurricane force into her meaty roles (my favorite obviously being Moira, the maid with a dark secret) and finds the reality in some fantastically surreal characters. She certainly doesn't get as much love as she should, so please. Write her a letter. Send her a lollipop. Something.

Thank you so much for supporting Women in Horror month alongside me! It's been fun while it lasted, but remember what Cassidy always says: "It never stops being women in horror month." And it's true. There's always time to appreciate the importance of the female gender in the development and success of the horror genre. And if you stick with me, I'll be sure not to disappoint.
Word Count: 830

Women In Horror Month: Is That Your Final Answer?

What do you know, but it's already a week into February. Where does the time go?

I don't know whose job it is to decide these things but we are officially celebrating Women in Horror Month, and I would be loathe to ignore my calling. Throughout the month I will have several features celebrating women and their contributions to the horror genre, but first the obvious.

Because I'm me, I'd like to open with my

TOP TEN FINAL GIRLS

#10 Alice Johnson (A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master, A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child)

Played By: Lisa Wilcox

A character that manages to survive in my esteem even in spite of the entirely terrible and incoherent Part 5. Alice is essentially the Tommy Jarvis of the Nightmare franchise, a late-to-the-game player that defeats a horror icon multiple times - and lives to tell the tale. Where most Final Girls who have a return get their comeuppance, she sticks to her guns and makes Freddy her chew toy.

#9 Ginny Field (Friday the 13th Part 2)

Played By: Amy Steel

One of the smartest of Jason's victims, child psychologist Ginny Field manages to get inside his head and trick her way to survival. She's one of the only Final Girls to actually outwit the killer instead of wail on him with a machete for 20 minutes. Although she does get a few good whacks in during an especially memorable chainsaw sequence.

#8 Marybeth Dunston (Hatchet II)

Played By: Tamara Feldman, Danielle Harris

Although she was certainly a sideshow in the first Hatchet film, perennial 21st Century Final Girl Marybeth Dunston was given new life when genre veteran Danielle Harris stepped into the role. Having appeared in four Halloween movies (two of them as a child!), she was the perfect choice to sass up what needed to be a punchy role opposite King Jason himself, Kane Hodder.

#7 Jannicke (Cold Prey, Cold Prey 2)

Played By: Ingrid Bolsø Berdal

Sexy. Norwegian. Badass. Jannicke has seen more than her share of trouble, so she decided to make some of her own. Despite one terrifically dumb decision that extended the finale of the sequel for a good fifteen minutes, she is still one of the most consistently intelligent and entertaining slasher protagonists of them all.

#6 Sidney Prescott (Scream, Scream 2, Scream 3, Scream 4)

Played By: Neve Campbell

Darn but I do love myself a sarcastic heroine. Sidney hates horror movies for being a series of reductive and insulting clichés, so her worst nightmare comes true when she is trapped in one. She's still alive and kicking though, so hats off to seeing herself through four installments of a notorious director's franchise.

#5 Sarah (The Descent)

Played By: Shauna MacDonald

Savage womanhood at its finest. She's minding her own business, just trying to get over the death of her cheating husband and daughter when she is attacked by a horde of underground flesh-eating monsters. However, she quickly turns the tables and although her ending might not exactly be happy, it's absolutely fitting and resonant.

#4 Nancy Thompson (A Nightmare on Elm Street)

Played By: Heather Langenkamp

So good they brought her back. Twice. Decades apart. Nancy is everything a teen protagonist should be: lovable, smart, a little bit silly, and, most importantly, a teenager. Although Langenkamp's acting isn't exactly top drawer, it matches perfectly with the genre and keeps Nightmare going strong a good 30 years after its release.

#3 Laurie Strode (Halloween, Halloween II, Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later)

Played By: Jamie Lee Curtis

How could I not include her? She's not gonna be number one due to her unfortunate habit of dropping weapons right next to masked serial murderers, but she's one of the most persistent and incredible Final Girls due to Jamie Lee Curtis' unmatched slasher performance. She was so good they retconned her offscreen death from Part 4 to bring her back in a blaze of glory.

#2 Tina Shepard (Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood)

Played By: Lar Park-Lincoln

AKA Carrie. This telekinetic teen kicks some serious Voorhees butt. This is no small feat, especially considering that in this installment the masked galunk was played by Kane Hodder for the very first time. Definitely one of my favorite installments of the series, in large part due to Tina's incredible prowess at being awesome.

#1 Erin (You're Next)

Played By: Sharni Vinson

Who couldn't have predicted this one? The only Final Girl I've ever seen who is more proficient with an axe than her pursuers. Pitted against multiple foes, she easily outstrips any of her single-villain peers, all with a flawless Australian accent.
Word Count: 781

Level Two

Again, thanks to Freddy in Space for the inspiration to to this challenge. On with the next questions!

11. Most Ditzy [sic - this is from Twitter, sorry] Character: Julie James (Jennifer Love Hewitt)

The girl who somehow survives both I Know What You Did Last Summer and the insipid I Still Know What You Did Last Summer. During the course of the two films, Julie spends her time running full speed down the wrong track after red herrings, refusing to get out of the way when a killer is after her, and once even manages to get herself locked in a tanning bed. In fact, the entire plot of the second film is based on the fact the she doesn't know the capital of Brazil.

12. Favorite Horror Movie From the Past Year: You're Next (2013)

In my rave review for You're Next, I talked about the butt-kicking Australian lead, the whip smart dialogue, and the pitch perfect balance of terrifying and hilarious. This is all still true.

13. Best Impalement: Final Destination 3 (2006)

Just when it seems like everything is safe and a girl is saved from accidental lynching, a flag pole is sent launching straight through somebody's abdomen. The clincher? The flag says "Liberty or Death." God, I love these movies.

14. Killer Who Has the Best Weapon: Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund)

No need for a second thought on this one. I barely needed a first thought. Freddy Krueger's razor glove (designed by Wes Craven to emulate the common fear of animal claws) is one of the most creative and terrifying inventions of the horror genre. I have so much to say about A Nightmare on Elm Street, but you guys are just gonna have to wait on that. We've got a big day planned.

15. A Horror-Love Story: Cold Prey (2006)

The beautiful Jannicke (Ingrid Bolsø Berdal) is hesitant to move in with her boyfriend for fear of moving things too fast. The awkward and single Morten Tobias (Rolf Kristian Larsen) has been nursing a crush on her for quite some time. When their snowboarding group gets attacked by a deranged mountain man, the truths come out, but unfortunately Morten Tobias doesn't live long enough to see his dream realized. One of the only times my heart has been broken by a slasher film.

16. Best Throat Slicing: V/H/S 2 (2013)

Another one that I have previously talked about. In the segment "Safe Haven," directed by Gareth Evans and Timo Tjahjanto, a documentary crew visits the compound of a cult on what happens to be their Armageddon day. Things don't quite go as planned and the throat slitting is one of the most visceral and exciting gore effects in the entire film, which is chock full of bizarre and off-putting sights.

17. Favorite Sequel to a Horror: Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II (1987)

I love this film, and the whole Prom Night gang. While the original was a fairly run-of-the-mill slasher flick (although it did feature Leslie Nielsen and Jamie Lee Curtis and seven minutes of disco dancing), its sequel is an absolutely nutso balls-to-the-wall post-Nightmare on Elm Street special effects extravaganza that owes just as much to Carrie as it does to Freddy Krueger.

18. Best Horror Movie in the Woods: The Burning (1981)

I know I'm snubbing my beloved Friday the 13th series, but even I know they're bad movies.

With special effects by Tom Savini and a raft massacre scene that landed it on the Video Nasties list in the UK, The Burning is a surefire slasher classic. The first time I saw this film was at a midnight movie in LA with Shannon. I was expecting to show her first dumb slasher movie. I was disappointed. This movie is fantastic.

19. An Actor You Enjoyed to Watch Get Murdered: Michelle Trachtenberg

I. HATE. DAWN. SUMMERS.

The remake of Black Christmas was a dream come true.

20. Most Attractive Horror Movie Killer - Adam Carr (David Boreanaz)

Sorry about spoilers but mmmmmmmm....

I'm pretty sure David Boreanaz is an actual undead vampire because he has aged maybe three months since Buffy started in 1997. 

Valentine is an absolutely fabulous movie because of how much it sucks. Despite coming out after Scream and Buffy, two genre-bending self aware horror genre tentpoles, this film is still just a straightforward slasher flick, which I have a lot of respect for despite the stigma that comes attached to that.

Word Count: 746
Reviews in This Series
Horror Lover Challenge Part 1 (August 16, 2013)
Horror Lover Challenge Part 2 (August 25, 2013)
Horror Lover Challenge Part 3 (August 28, 2013)

Keepin' It Cool

Year: 2008
Director: Mats Stenberg
Cast: Ingrid Bolsø Berdal, Marthe Snorresdotter Rovik, Kim Wifladt
Run Time: 1 hour 26 minutes
MPAA Rating: N/A

After watching the extremely underwhelming The Descent Part 2 (which I think I've bashed for three straight reviews now), I had somewhat low hopes for Cold Prey 2 (Fritt Vilt II), but our friends in Norway prove once again that they are not to be outdone and this scrappy sequel was a breath of (chilled) fresh air.

Cold Prey 2 is still immensely derivative of American slasher films (in fact, it's basically Halloween II in the mountains), but just like Cold Prey it provides a shot in the arm to the genre. Cinematically, the film is very steady on its feet, and some camera shots were so inspired or off-kilter that I had to pause the film and sit back to let their effects sink in fully. One in particular - a shot of a rescue worker's side mirror as he sees the bruised and beaten woman in the road behind him then opens the door and runs to her - is one of those "I wish I could have thought of that" moments that prove that cinema is much more than just pointing a camera at things and calling it a day.

The movie is full of moments like this, but simply listing them all would take the fun out of watching the film and reading this review.

And looking at this picture of dead Eirik.

Jannicke (Berdal), the sole* survivor of the bloodbath in the first movie, is taken to a sleepy mountain hospital to recover (and await investigation by the police - she's covered in somebody else's blood). The hospital has fallen on hard times and is about to close down, so there's only a skeleton crew (pun 100% intended) on hand to help out when the bodies of her friends (and a gargantuan mountain man with a bloody pickaxe wound) are recovered from the bottom of a massive crevasse in the glacier.

The hospital's backup crew will arrive Tomorrow Morning.

The police chief sends two of his officers off to investigate Jannicke's claims about the Hotel du Murder up on the slopes and leaves one officer behind to guard her room while he checks some files at the station.

The force is short staffed but their reserve forces will arrive Tomorrow Morning.

Can you guess what happens next?

Did you guess that the mountain man is not quite dead and returns to his pickaxin' ways? A+ for you.

What follows is an extremely satisfying, if not totally groundbreaking slasher flick, much in the vein of the original. Now, because the Cold Prey movies have a reputation for being rote slashers with surprisingly high quality and emotional resonance, this isn't all by a long shot.

The characters, while less fleshed out than Número Uno, still manage to capture our hearts. There's Camilla (Rovik), the scrappy and headstrong nurse who'd be our best bet for Final Girl if Jannicke wasn't still hanging around. There's Ole (Wifladt), her boyfriend who's upset that her new job is in the far-off town of Smkyxlqberg; Audhild (Johanna Mørck), the pleasant and dedicated blonde nurse; Daniel (Vetle Qvenild Werring), a little boy with a broken arm who befriends the skittish Jannicke; various policemen and a senile patient who has trouble finding the bathroom; and Sverre (Mats Eldøen), who has a crush on Audhild and unfortunately not me. 

He knows he looks cute in that baseball cap.

Cold Prey II manages to-

Hey! Don't interrupt m- OK, it's fine.

Like I was saying, Cold -

This is getting adorable. I mean annoying.

Prey 2 -

Awwww... Wait, what's that in the mirror? Sh!t.

manages to avoid most of the major flaws of being a slasher sequel. Apparently, when the Norwegians were hitting up American movies for ideas, they also took notes on their mistakes.

Remember the deplorable Mirror Scare used in every movie where the character bends down to spit in the sink/wash their face/pray to the faucet gods and when they look up, something is behind them in the mirror? Cold Prey 2 makes great use of mirrors (see the blurry screenshot above) without ever once resorting to such cheap thrills. Car mirrors, medicine cabinets, those mirrors used to see around corners - all are cleverly used to enhance the thrills of the film and it is a wondrous sight to see.

Which brings me seamlessly to my next point - that the aura of the first film is not violated but isn't ripped off. There's still plenty of heavy steel doors and narrow, ill-lit hallway action in this alpine hospital and even though we already know the main antagonist, there's still a slow burn so we can settle in with the old characters and meet the new before the horror begins in earnest.

And, like most sequels, this one concerns itself more with the backstory of the killer as a way to deepen the universe of the franchise. Somehow, this film hit the lucky balance with providing us enough backstory to keep us interested and crank up our fear of the villain (he's basically unkillable) without bogging us down with unnecessary mythology (for that, please see Cold Prey III, which was never supposed to happen).

Run! Run from the tidal wave of mythology overspill from the set of Paranormal Activity V!

Not that this film is perfect. My theory is that the cinematographer had an astigmatism, which is why he decided to keep the beginning of every important shot blurry for five seconds longer than it needed to be. And we are unfortunately not totally free from Stupid Horror Movie Character Decision Making when Jannicke fails to murder the heck out of the felled killer, leading to an admittedly cool but totally unnecessary climax at the snowy hotel.

All in all, this is a great followup to a great slasher film and I'm not complaining one bit.

TL;DR: Cold Prey 2 is a surprisingly solid return to form for the Norwegian slasher franchise.
Rating: 7/10
Should I Spend Money On This DVD? Actually, yeah. It's one of the best slasher sequels I've ever seen. And it's foreign so it has cachet.
Word Count: 1051
Reviews In This Series
Cold Prey / Fritt Vilt (Uthaug, 2006)
Cold Prey 2 / Fritt Vilt II (Stenberg, 2008)

Ice Scream

Year: 2006
Director: Roar Uthaug
Cast: Ingrid Bolsø Berdal, Rolf Kristian Larsen, Tomas Alf Larsen
Run Time: 1 hour 37 minutes
MPAA Rating: N/A

What is up with Norway, man? Since the beginning of history, the snowy land has had almost no significant presence in international pop culture but all of a sudden in the mid 2000's, they started producing absolutely stellar horror films out of nowhere. Dead Sno (Død Snø) is a terrific (Nazi) zombie film that got me into this neck of the woods and I have no intention of leaving anytime soon. Norwegian television must play old American horror films on a loop because this slasher films could compete with (and is better than most of) the big dogs.

Cold Prey (Fritt Vilt) is, when it comes right down to it, a fairly routine slasher movie. It doesn't try to put twists on the genre. It knows its place and its goal is to make us fall in love with the characters and enjoy the ride. I know watching characters you enjoy and identify with getting brutally murdered doesn't necessarily sound like a good time, but that's the key to horror. You need to care about the well being of these people or else you'll just end up rooting for the killer. 

Yes, it's fun to watch Jason eviscerate a cadre of douchebags, but he hasn't been scary since Round One. You relate to these people and that makes you fear for them. And that's where Cold Prey does the genre well.

 You care about them, even if they're dirty foreigners.

The movie begins and WHITE. As far as the eye can see. It seems that Norway has a lot of snow and director Roar Uthaug (who sounds like some sort of Bear King from a forgotten Disney film) utilizes this to his advantage, immediately oppressing the audience with a weighty mass of, well, nothing.

It is exactly this sort of nothing that our protagonists wander into, full steam ahead. It seems that Eirik (Tomas Alf Larsen) is somewhat of an adrenaline junkie (flashes of Descent here) and has taken his group of friends to go snowboarding in a remote mountain locale where no tourists will bother them. Or hear their cries for help.

In tow are his girlfriend Jannicke (Ingrid Bolsø Berdal, who was also in the abysmal Chernobyl Diaries but I love her anyway), their friends Morten Tobias (Rolf Kristian Larsen) and Mikal (Endre Marten Midtstigen) along with his girlfriend Ingunn (Viktoria Winge). That was fun to type, let's never do that again.

Anyway, Jannicke is afraid of commiting further to Eirik because she doesn't want them to grow bored of each other. Ingunn is a hot blonde who is head over heels for her beau but worries he just wants her for sex. Morten does just fine on his own, but gazes longingly at Jannicke when nobody is looking. We are allowed to explore these relationships for a good 40 minutes, and while they aren't necessarily more than stock situations, they are rooted in very human characters and it's a pleasure to watch them interact.

When one of their party is badly injured in a snowboarding accident, they hole up in a nearby building which looks eerily similar to the Stage 3 Dream from Inception, but upon closer inspection turns out to be an empty hotel.

The five friends relax, drink, and apply emergency first aid. They make plans to send Eirik out for the car in the morning, but in the meantime they have this whole wonderful place to explore! Upon closer inspection, it turns out this hotel is more like a meat locker than an Embassy Suites. Long stainless steel hallways connect the rooms, lit by a row of flickering fluorescents. Wisely, most of them decide to sleep in the well-appointed lobby.

Mikal and Ingunn have a fight. Nobody wins. Mikal storms off. Ingunn and a mysterious masked mountain man have a fight. She loses. We all lose. The cleaning ladies who'll have to use some extra elbow grease to get the blood stains out of the floor lose.

Surprise, surprise, we're not alone!

The killer begins to hunt them down one by one and they all learn the many wonders that can be achieved with a sturdy pickaxe.

The real kicker - and the most unique element of the film in terms of slasher tropes - is that it doesn't matter how they die. There is no array of edged weapons or hyper-creative Rube Goldbergian kill sequences. If they come against that pickaxe they will die, and Cold Prey uses that knowledge to ramp up the tension and produce a truly scary slasher film, which is no mean feat.

Accompanied by some truly inspired set design, a company of likable characters, and some just plain hair-raising, goosebump-having moments, Cold Prey is certainly a success and the high stakes ending setpiece is the cherry on top of a really terrible night on bald mountain.

Body Count: 4, and as always the slashers with the lowest body count tend to be the most terrifying.
TL;DR: Cold Prey operates within slasher parameters to create a stellar film populated with characters anyone can invest in.
Rating: 8/10
Should I Spend Money On This DVD? I wish more people liked slashers so I could definitively say yes. But yes. Please?
Word Count: 898

Reviews In This Series
Cold Prey / Fritt Vilt (Uthaug, 2006)
Cold Prey 2 / Fritt Vilt II (Stenberg, 2008)