Census Bloodbath: Jack Of All Trades

Year:
1985
Director:
Christopher Lewis
Cast:
Tom Schreier, Mona Van Pernis, Tom Savini
Run Time:
1 hour 42 minutes

Plot: The Ripper follows Tulsa professor Richard Harwell (Tom Schreier) discovering an antique ring that belonged to Jack the Ripper (Tom Savini, whose name does ring a bell, now that you mention it) at the same time that he's reached the Whitechapel murders unit in his film class about movies adapting real crimes. Not so coincidentally, women around town have begun to turn up dead in slayings that seem eerily similar to the real Jack the Ripper's crimes.

As Harwell begins to have dreams of Jack the Ripper and fall into fugue states where he loses time as the body count rises, he nurses suspicions about the ring, as does his obsequious student Steve (Wade Tower of Revenge), a film geek who calls Harwell three times a night to remind him about what Vincent Price movie is on TV that night. Will either of them solve the problem before Steve's girlfriend Cindy (Andrea Adams of Revenge and Blood Lake), a fellow student, or Harwell's girlfriend, dance professor Carol (Mona Van Pernis), end up at the wrong end of a blade?

Analysis: Christopher Lewis is a director we've seen quite a bit of in 1985, because he was the director of that year's early shot-on-video slasher Blood Cult. The extremely low-budget regional Tulsa production had its ample flaws, as I detailed in my review, but I also couldn't help but being won over by its handmade charms.

That said, I wasn't exactly champing at the bit to see his immediate follow-up. However, nervous as I was, Lewis pulled out all the stops with a movie that is leaps and bounds better than Blood Cult. It still retains some of the movie's flaws (most notably an intense lack of interest in the victims who provide the body count, the majority of whom wander into the movie during the same scene in which they are bumped off). However, it shines in a number of meaningful ways.

First is the fact that the kills themselves are 1) legible and 2) actually quite brutal. In spite of the fact that the majority of them have the same M.O. (throat-slitting, sometimes followed by Herschell Gordon Lewis-esque disembowlment), there is enough variety to the way that they are presented that they feel consistently brutal and shocking. That feeling is enhanced by some half-decent, disgusting, drippy gore. You'll find blood spurts aplenty in The Ripper (even for wounds where there probably shouldn't be any), which was more than enough to keep me entertained during the murder sequences.

The movie also manages to ditch the atmosphere-killing police procedural element of Blood Cult while retaining all of its little idiosyncrasies and weird regionalisms, including two inexplicably long scenes with a pushy antique store clerk (Bennie Lee McGowan of Blood Cult and Revenge) that are about nothing and hold no importance and yet are riveting from start to finish. Another beautiful idiosyncrasy is the seemingly intense psychosexual relationship between Steve and Harwell. I'm not even sure the filmmakers are aware of its presence, simmering beneath the surface, but when you have a character calling his professor while shirtless in the dark of night, any responsible viewer must ask questions!

The movie is still far from perfect, though. Naturally so, considering the movie allegedly had a budget of just $75,000. However, the majority of its flaws come from places that have nothing to do with its price tag, including the fact that the plot is a little repetitive and really peters out in the third act. It can't even sustain enough energy for Tom Savini's big scene to be remotely interesting (even though it cost them a full 20% of that budget just to get him for one night).

The gore maestro's turn as Jack the Ripper is notable only because he allowed it to happen in the first place and not because he deigned to imbue the character with any actual menace. It truly feels like Christopher Lewis wished on a monkey's paw to have Tom Savini work on his movie.

So no, not perfect. But The Ripper is ever so charming, even more than its predecessor, to the point that I'm almost excited to take a gander at Lewis' next feature, which was the 1986 Blood Cult sequel Revenge. Stay tuned, I guess.

Killer: Jack the Ripper (Tom Savini) acting through Richard Harwell (Tom Schreier)

Final Girl: Carol (Mona Van Pernis)

Best Kill: As neat as the throat slittings tend to be, my pick would have to be the woman being garroted with a phone cord, both because it stands out and because I do love a good improvised weapon.

Sign of the Times: I mean, it has to be the dance class that Carol teaches, which involves students in aerobics leotards doing a minutes-long performance to a faux Bonnie Tyler song while smoke machines fill the room with haze. On day one, mind you.

Scariest Moment: The opening sequence where Jack stalks a woman down a foggy London street has more atmosphere than every scene in Blood Cult put together (in addition to somehow transforming Tulsa into a halfway convincing facsimile of 19th century Britain).

Weirdest Moment: The class clown Brian (Jeffrey Fontana) sings a song about Jack the Ripper in front of a chalk drawing of the man himself while accompanying himself on the harmonica.

Champion Dialogue: “You can jump on me any time you like."

Body Count: 6

1. Fancy Lady has her throat slit.
2. Old Timey Carol has her throat slit in a dream.
3. Cocktail Waitress has her throat slit.
4. Judy is garroted with a phone cord.
5. Cindy has her throat slit offscreen.
6. Richard Harwell is shot.

TL;DR: The Ripper is a totally charming SOV slasher that has a few tricks up its sleeve.

Rating: 6/10

Word Count: 978