Showing posts with label Nick Corri. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nick Corri. Show all posts

Friday, April 28, 2017

Popcorn Kernels: Cravin' Wes

As we approach the end of my long-running quest to watch every film ever directed by Wes Craven (only 4 TV movies to go!), let’s explore two interesting little scraps of his career: the final theatrical film I had yet to see, and the one porn film we’re pretty much 100% certain he directed, during his time working in New York in the sleazy 70’s.

Vampire in Brooklyn


Year: 1995
Director: Wes Craven
Cast: Eddie Murphy, Angela Bassett, Allen Payne 
Run Time: 1 hour 40 minutes
MPAA Rating: R

An ancient Caribbean vampire arrives in modern New York City to seduce a lovely cop on the mean streets of Brooklyn.

1995 found Wes Craven in a very strange place. Just a year earlier he had created his latest masterpiece, New Nightmare, to very little fanfare. As much as that film proved he still had the capacity for intelligent, engaging horror, he was still chafing against he constraints of the genre, which hadn’t afforded him a truly sizeable hit in over a decade. So when he learned that superstar funnyman Eddie Murphy wanted to work with him, he leapt at the opportunity. Unfortunately, as it often happened for Craven, he found himself in yet another behind-the-scenes straitjacket.

While Craven assumed he’d be making a comedy, Murphy insisted he wanted to make a straight horror picture. Both men wanted to break free from their typecast genre, but the star’s wishes carried more weight with the studio. Thus we get another film that feels like a tug of war between two entirely opposite sensibilities. However, unlike the equally uneven Deadly Friend, Vampire in Brooklyn pulls together into something more or less amusing, even if it makes next to no sense as it goes along (something which is patently not improved by Murphy’s Blade Runner voiceover that runs through the whole thing like a rusty monorail).

The horror elements are passable, but they’re attempting to resurrect a stately, classic gothic feel that has never made a dent on my nerves in the first place, and they’re intermittently successful. What really saves this film, and I’m a teensy bit loathe to admit it, is its admirably goofy sense of humor. While it undercuts the horror at every turn, that horror wasn’t particularly strong to begin with. Hell, the climax, which I solely horror, is an interminable slog in spite of Murphy’s surprisingly subdued performance and convincing chemistry with the devastatingly sexy Angela Bassett.

No, with Vampire in Brooklyn, the goofier it gets, the better it is. OK, there may be some indefensible scenes that have Murphy Klumping it up in various silly costumes, but the movie frequently hits a register that evokes classic Blaxploitation by way of a Sam Raimi splatter flick. This is most evident in the gleefully gross performance by Kadeem Hardison as Julius Jones, a dock-worker turned ghoulish assistant. As his body rots due to the vampire’s magic, parts of him fall off at very inopportune moments. It’s a very juvenile, Monty Python Black Knight style of body horror slapstick, but especially when he’s paying off John Witherspoon as his grouchy landlord, it’s downright hilarious. A lot of these funny scenes (especially any with the Italian mobsters infesting the town) are pitched at a very high register, but Craven embraces his camp sensibilities and thus allows it to flourish.

Vampire in Brooklyn is no masterpiece, but it’s a diverting way to spend 95 minutes. Almost any other Craven film is a more worthwhile watch, but this one certainly has its cheesy charms.

Rating: 6/10

The Fireworks Woman

Year: 1975
Director: Abe Snake
Cast: Jennifer Jordan, Helen Madigan, Erica Eaton 
Run Time: 1 hour 13 minutes
MPAA Rating: X

A young woman with the possibly supernatural power to ignite lust in those around her pursues an ex-flame who’s a priest… and her brother.

Now, just to reassure any lawyers who happen to have stumbled across this blog, it has not been conclusively proven that Wes Craven directed this pornographic film, though it is known he spent years in the New York porn industry as an editor and producer. The film is officially credited as being written and directed by Abe Snake (and co-written by Hørst Badörties, which I suspect is a pseudonym for the Swedish Chef), but any scholar of Craven could tell you instantly that his fingerprints are all over the project.

For one thing, Wes Craven literally plays a character in the movie: the mysterious Fireworks Man who may or may not be the Devil. It’s kinda hard to deny your involvement when you face is on celluloid, beard or no beard. But even if his literal face was nowhere to be seen, his spirit thrums through the entire story, which chews on a lot of the favorite themes that he would return to over and over again throughout his career: repression of desire leading to violence, the potency of dreams (especially nightmares), the oppressive and hypocritical nature of the church, and the dark side of the suburban family unit.

The entire DNA of his career, from Nightmare on Elm Street to The People Under the Stairs, to My Soul to Take, is present in a film where a woman makes love to her brother with Pachelbel’s “Canon in D” playing in the background. What a trajectory! Being a porno movie, the plot is understandably rather repetitive, but he fact that it has themes worth mentioning at all speaks to Craven’s irrepressible intelligence.

That said, I can’t understand why any self-respecting heterosexual would find the film particularly erotic. A massively uncomfortable rape scene is shoehorned in (though, true to Craven’s ever-goofy form, in the same scene a man is hit over the head with a giant fish), and most of the consensual sex is underscored by tittering, nightmarish Insidious music. It actually kinds works as a horror film, melding woozy dream imagery and penetrative sex in a beautifully eerie fantasia.

Let’s not kid ourselves that The Fireworks Woman is worth seeing by anyone but the most institutionally insane Craven fan, but speaking as one of those, it was certainly an interesting insight into a burgeoning creative mind stripped of all propriety.

Rating: 5/10
Word Count: 1032

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Candy Crush

Year: 1999
Director: Turi Meyer
Cast: Tony Todd, Donna D'Errico, Nick Corri
Run Time: 1 hour 33 minutes
MPAA Rating: R

Friday the 13th was a crappy slasher film that captured a zeitgeist and spawned nine sequels, a crossover, a remake, a television series, a video game, and several literary and comic book adaptations. The Howling was a crappy werewolf movie that launched a franchise of eight films as well as three novelizations. Candyman was a terrifically scary, intelligent modern slasher update that incorporated elements of urban legend with the real-life terror of failed urban project Cabrini-Green that got two sequels and bupkis. Art is dead.

But hey! At least that means that this one was an easy marathon. Sergio and I recently finished up Candyman 3: Day of the Dead, and let me just say that this trilogy was an interesting ride. Obviously the sequel, the muddled Candyman 2: Farewell to the Flesh was not going to be quite as good, but I was unprepared for how much more entertaining the final, direct-to-video sequel was going to be. 

Now obviously, Day of the Dead has some budget issues. And in terms of production quality and acting talent, it's a real step down. But the story is so comparatively polished and coherent that it's far more enjoyable. It's like the difference between a Broadway production of Shrek: The Musical and a kindergarten performance of Little Shop of Horrors. Sure, one has more professional talent on the stage, but which will you enjoy more?

No ironic answers. I know who you are.

Day of the Dead follows more clearly in the footsteps of the first film ("Be my victim"; murdering all of someone's reasons to live; etc.), though it caps off storylines left open-ended in the second (Annie Tarrant's survival and pregnancy), which kind of makes it the perfect sequel. It's the little things that bring me joy. Anyway, this film focuses on the daughter of the last film's survivor, all growed up - which, according to my calculations makes this film set sometime in late 2016. I wonder what force propels us to return to some of those repulsive 90's fashions. Retro will be the death of us all.

Anyway, this woman's name is Caroline McKeever (Baywatch's Donna D'Errico, the actress a porn parody company would have on speed dial if they needed to throw together a "Heather Locklear" in a pinch) and she is the last surviving descendent of Daniel Robitaille (Tony Todd), whose lynching after falling in love with a white woman led to his resurrection as the Candyman, a mythical killer who appears after you say his name five times into a mirror. 

She just wants the world to appreciate him for what he was in life - a talented painter with a passionate soul - but her art curator friend Miguel (Mark Adair-Rios) uses his twisted reputation as a gimmick to get warm bodies in his gallery. Unfortunately, warm bodies are all Candyman needs. After Miguel peer pressures Caroline into invoking Candyman in the mirror, he and a ladyfriend die. And the only suspect is his friend David de la Paz (Nick Corri of A Nightmare on Elm Street), who Caroline ropes into helping her investigate the murders and the robbery of Candyman's gallery.

Pursued by the Candyman on one end and the topically racist cop Sam Kraft (Wade Williams) - who wants to pin the murders on David - on the other, they embark upon a deadly adventure through the streets of Los Angeles during the annual Day of the Dead celebrations.

Which, thanks to the budget, largely consist of colorful streamers and imagination.

You may have picked up on a preponderance of Latino names and themes in the previous description. And to that I say, you are a remarkably astute individual. Thank you for being a discerning human being and reading my blog. Yes, this film takes place largely in the Latino districts of East L.A. and treats the culture with remarkable respect for a direct-to-video horror film written by the guys behind The Vampire Diaries. Although the Day of the Dead is more poorly integrated with the film proper than Part 2's Mardi Gras celebrations, it provides a vibrant backdrop for a story much more concerned with the hardships and trials of urban life than one could have reasonably expected, considering its pedigree.

Now, I don't want to sound like I'm touting Candyman 3 as a masterwork of unadulterated genius, because it's adamantly not. But the ways in which it is not a piece of crap astound the mind of this jaded reviewer, despite the myriad of crappy elements clogging up the wings. Even the best DTV affair is still going to be a stunted and withered little thing, but this one is easier to pity and get along with.

Sure, D'Errico's sub-porn acting is so thorough that she even fails to convincingly smoke a cigarette. Sure, the film is keyed far more towards exploitation: nearly every female actress doffs her top, including the one playing the dead mom, and we're treated to a flashback sex scene with the killer because Tony Todd is co-producer on this one and he wanted to see some boobs, damn it. The faux-Philip Glass score with the peculiar Ren Fair flute, the swarm of bees that look like they were animated on Flash, the cops that wear normal civilian clothes and drive normal civilian cars but have jackets that say "POLICE," and a dream sequence featuring the famous L.A. Underground (for those of who aren't regional, this is not a thing) are not what we in the know call quality filmmaking. 

But the crappy elements give the film a three-legged dog type appeal. Sure, it's not the best at its job, but you can tell it's trying and you love it for that.

Sometimes trying too hard, but you've gotta love it for that too.

Plus there's no peyote-fueled Mardi Gras radio narrator in sight, so that's automatically a step up from its forefather. Everything else is merely window dressing. But when that window dressing is as solidly politically-minded (white cops vs. urban neighborhoods - not exactly a closed book in 2014), dedicated (I never thought I'd see a two-parts-later sequel actually pick up on a main thematic through line of the original), and handsome (Nick Corri) as Candyman 3's, it's a good time for everyone.

And though its tension is mostly anemic, there are some decent scare sequences, especially a moment involving a cracked egg (not nonsense, actually - eggs are very significant in spiritual rituals) and some surprisingly wet gore sequences. To be fair, bee horror hits me the hardest, suffering as I do from documented apiphobia, but the film is halfway decent enough that I'm not embarrassed to admit being affected by it.

All in all, Candyman 3: Day of the Dead is never going to be first pick on movie night. It's not the film you'll want on your cinematic kickball team if you're the captain. But as a Candyman fan, it's a real treat to have a sequel that isn't a disorganized, barely connected wisp. Check it out if you're so inclined.

TL;DR: Candyman 3: Day of the Dead is far better than it has any right to be, but as a direct-to-video sequel to a slasher sequel, it's not that great to begin with.
Rating: 5/10
Body Count: 10; not counting Candyman because even though there's not a fourth film, we can't just go ahead and assume that the killer is gone for good.
  1. Miguel is hooked in the back.
  2. Lina is suffocated by bees.
  3. Annie Tarrant slits her own throat in the tub.
  4. Tamara is hooked in the gut.
  5. L. V. is hooked in the throat.
  6. Goth Leader has the chain ripped from his lip and is hacked to death.
  7. Goth Gang Member #1,
  8. Goth Gang Member #2,
  9. and Goth Gang Member #3 are hacked to death with a hook offscreen.
  10. Sam Kraft is shot to death.
Word Count: 1334
Reviews In This Series
Candyman (Rose, 1992)
Candyman 2: Farewell to the Flesh (Condon, 1995)
Candyman 3: Day of the Dead (Meyer, 1999)

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Census Bloodbath: Night Terrors

If you're new to Census Bloodbath, click here.

Year: 1984
Director: Wes Craven
Cast: Heather Langenkamp, Johnny Depp, Robert Englund
Run Time: 1 hour 31 minutes
MPAA Rating: R

This entry was due to come up much later in my Census Bloodbath series, but I've been cravin' some Craven. Also I'm writing an essay in my horror class about him (!!!) so I've been screening his movies all week.

So before we get into this film, let me take this opportunity gush for a little bit, please. Wes Craven is my favorite director of all time, not just of horror. The man started off as an English teacher, made the wildly depraved The Last House on the Left (Could you even imagine? I want you to picture your high school English teacher directing a grindhouse flick where a criminal gets his penis bitten off. Things just got very un-Pride and Prejudice.), reinvented the slasher genre twice with A Nightmare on Elm Street and Scream, and is the only 74-year-old alive who is actually good at Instagram.

He even made a Game of Thrones reference! I can't even with this guy...

But you'll get more and more Wes Craven history as we go along. For now, our concern is his first foray in changing an entire film genre as we knew it. Slashers, which had been going strong since Friday the 13th opened the floodgates in 1980, had begun to run out of steam. The well of ideas had already run dry by the first whispers of "Part 2" and increasing opposition by the MPAA (and the horrors of diminishing returns) meant that the slice-and-dicers were considering closing up shop permanently.

In fact, Paramount had already put a stake in their tentpole franchise, announcing that the next Friday the 13th film would be their last (it was not). But just after Halloween, A Nightmare on Elm Street blew in like a hurricane, sweeping up the desiccated husks of slasher cinema (Splatter University and Murder Rock: Dancing Death also came out that year) into its whirlwind of dazzling imagery and twisted,  quasi-European sensibilities.

Craven's first masterpiece, A Nightmare on Elm Street is an aggregate of influences as far and wide as the cinema of Dario Argento, newspaper articles about a mysterious dream disease, a study on primal fears, Val Lewton, and a childhood experience with a menacing vagrant. With his literary background and vast intelligence, Craven did what others could not: create Freddy Krueger, arguably the single most iconic villain in horror history.

The rush of creativity and the introduction of paranormal elements to the slasher formula initiated the second wave. Suddenly the supernatural was in vogue, and cheapie filmmakers traded in their machetes for high concept brain-throbbers. Late-to-the-game sequels like Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II and The Slumber Party Massacre II saw massive restructuring and even Jason and Michael got in on the fun, the former by becoming an undead behemoth resurrected by lighting and the latter by something something druid curse.

But let's not think too hard about that, here's a sheep.

People remember Freddy as the cackling prankster of the later films, but most forget what a menacing presence he has in the original. He might get more hoots than hollers these days, but the first Nightmare is still utterly terrifying.

The story goes like this: Plucky teen Nancy Thompson (Heather Langenkamp, who'll return to Census Bloodbath in several other Wes Craven flicks) and her three friends - jock boyfriend Glen Lantz (Johnny Depp, in his first ever film role), best friend Tina Gray (Amanda Wyss), and her juviebait boyfriend Rod Lane (Nick Corri). 

The fact that there are so few characters - and that each of them have last names - reveals the essence of Nightmare's horror: Nobody is disposable. Each of these characters has a distinct personality, worldview, set of life goals, and relationship with each other member of the group. This is not merely a body count movie where the only draw is watching teens get killed in outré manners. Yes, the kills are exceptionally awesome in this film, but each one of them packs a punch.

These are characters we don't want to see die, and I don't know why more filmmakers haven't realized how scary that concept is.

Anyway, these four have all been having the same nightmare - being stalked through a boiler room by a man with a burned face, a battered fedora, a dirty red and green sweater, and a glove with razor blades for fingers. It doesn't take Nancy long to realize that they're in danger. Unfortunately she realizes this too late to save Tina, who is sliced open during her postcoital slumber in her parents' bed (Why do teenagers in 80's movies have such a fascination with the parents' bedrooms? If I were trying to sneak around and boink my dreamboat boyfriend, I couldn't think of a worse place.).

Tina's death scene is, in a word, glorious. It encapsulates everything Nightmare is about as the wounds she receives in her dream manifest themselves in reality. She is clawed open, dragged up her bedroom wall, and pulled onto the ceiling in a crescendo of blood, shrieks, and despair. It is brutal and affecting no matter how many times you watch it, visceral and powerful yet at the same time ethereally beautiful.

I could talk about Italian influence here but come on, just look how cool this is.

The lines between dream and reality begin to blur as Nancy attempts to discover the secret behind Freddy's rampage and save her friends - and herself - from a rendezvous with the business end of a manicure gone bad. What follows is a surreal phantasmagoria in which it is never absolutely clear what is or isn't a dream. 

Craven's masterfully delicate handling of imagery keeps one immersed in the dreamworld better than Inception ever could (I went there). With scenes pulled directly from the audience's own nightmares, centipedes and snakes pour out of a corpse, the staircase turns to gelatin, and claws stretch through a plaster ceiling. The longer Nancy goes without sleeping, the more danger she puts herself in, both in the real world and the dream world.

Nancy fights her way through Freddy's taunting, more beautiful and awe-inspiring murders, the supernova of heartburn she must have gotten from all that coffee she's been drinking, and the resistance of her policeman father (John Saxon) and her alcoholic mother (Ronee Blakley), who just don't understand why she refuses to even take a nap. What can she say? She's into survival.

Also featured: The medium from Insidious (Lin Shaye) as a schoolteacher.


and glorious glorious Johnny Depp midriff.


A Nightmare on Elm Street is beautiful because it is a slasher movie. It has everything - the (mostly) silent killer, teen victims, inept cops, a terrible 80's score, sex = death, the murders occuring as revenge for some long ago crime, and a virginal Final Girl. The fact that it manages to work within these well-established parameters and still be the elegant and surreal masterpiece of horror that it is is nothing less than a triumph.

A Nightmare on Elm Street is scary because it hits close to home. Our nightmares might all be different, but we have one thing in common: We all sleep. And in that sleep of death, what dreams may come must give us pause. 

Sleep is necessary for survival. We can only stay awake for so long before we expire. Just straight up death. And the longer we go without it, the easier it is to fall asleep. But with that sleep comes certain death. It's a lose-lose situation and the ticking of the clock makes for immense tension, even during the non-scary scenes. 

Not to mention that, during sleep, we are totally defenseless. That's bad enough in the physical world of violence and murder, but if the murderer is in your head? Chilling.

It's even worse when he's in your mouth.

I've already raved about the gorgeous savagery (call me a gorehound, but when you need over 50 gallons of blood onscreen for a single person's death scene, I am sold) that almost entirely holds up today despite a few effects that show their seams, but nearly every aspect of Nightmare works at full steam.

The sound design is superb, but it's altogether impossible to describe the immeasurable way that this enhances the film's dreamlike qualities. Just trust me on this one. Same with the production design. Yeah, all that stuff.

What I really want to talk about is the cast. For once the cast all look like actual teenagers, a rare accomplishment in a film like this. Although I'm still on the fence about whether Langenkamp's acting is charmingly incompetent or believable for her over-the-top predicament, the cast brings their characters to life in a totally believable way.

They're believable, they're likable, and they all have realistic reactions to the deaths of their friends. What is this? It's almost like we're watching a movie or something. One of the things I love the most is that Nancy isn't played by some teen starlet in a low cut top (cough cough Rooney Mara in the remake COUGH). She's just a kid, and that enhances the impact even more than everything else already had. 

I'd also like to do a dance of gratitude to the Casting Gods for picking an actual actor to play Freddy as opposed to an anonymous stuntman. Robert Englund is Freddy Krueger and without him at the wheel, this movie would have been nothing. That wicked glimmer in his eye as he hunts down his prey is as unsettling as his diminutive stature.

It's weirdly terrifying to watch a short man tear somebody apart.

Although the film does have flaws (it was created by a human man, after all), none of them are fatal or even mildly damaging. In fact most of my complaints are highly personal and miniscule, like the fact that I think the poster is weird or that I'm annoyed by how many fade-outs there are.

The two biggest flaws are the studio mandated ending, which is just plain peculiar and Ronne Blakley as Nancy's mother. With her caked-on pancake make-up and line delivery so stilted that it seems like she's reading off of a Russian teleprompter, she seems like she's a soap opera star who was on a break and just happened to wander into the Thompson household and get lost.

Aside from that, A Nightmare on Elm Street is a rousing success. And as if the whole concept wasn't showing off enough, Craven displays his intellectual vigor and filmmaking prowess in moments big and small, my favorites of which are the incorporation of a rose trellis to suggest an intermediate stage of Nancy waking up from a dream (you'll just have to watch it, but it's incredible), and the fact that at one point she hits Freddy in the face with a coffee pot, which is metaphorically what she's been doing the whole time - defending herself with caffeine.

OK, maybe those moments are just for me. But Nightmare is the work of an egregiously underappreciated auteur who would soon go on to become one of the most important figures in horror cinema. A showstopping practical effects extravaganza, this franchise starting film is one of the best slashers of the decade, one of the scariest horror films ever released, and one of the most creative American films on the market.

And that's good enough for me.


Killer: Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund)
Final Girl: Nancy Thompson (Heather Langenkamp)
Best Kill: No contest: Fountain of Blood.


Sign of the Times: Johnny Depp is an itty bitty baby; the soundtrack would have been dismissed by Duran Duran as "too cheesy."
Scariest Moment: This. Nope Nope Nope.


Weirdest Moment: Nancy rejects the advances of Johnny Depp. I bet she regretted that later.
Champion Dialogue: "He's dead, honey, because mommy killed him."
Body Count: 4; proving you don't have to have a slew of corpses to be a great slasher film.
  1. Tina is slashed with the glove and pulled onto the ceiling.
  2. Rod is strangled and hanged by his bedsheets.
  3. Glen is dragged into his bed and explodes into a fountain of blood. 
  4. Mrs. Thompson is burned in her sleep. 
TL;DR: A Nightmare on Elm Street is an eerie masterpiece that teeters delicately on the precipice of reality and singlehandedly resurrected the moribund slasher genre.
Rating: 10/10
Word Count: 2074
Reviews In This Series
A Nightmare on Elm Street (Craven, 1984)
Freddy vs. Jason (Yu, 2003)