This'll Be The Day That I Pie

Year: 2012

Director: Jon Hurwitz & Hayden Schlossberg

Cast: Jason Biggs, Alyson Hannigan, Seann William Scott 

Run Time: 1 hour 53 minutes

MPAA Rating: R

Well, here we are. I may have skipped way ahead in our Seann William Scott marathon, but of course that was only a pretense to allow me to watch the American Pie movies again. So that brings us to American Reunion, the fourth and probably final film in the franchise, coming a long 9 years after American Wedding. Let’s see if this Pie has gotten stale.

Pro-tip: if a pie has been sitting on a windowsill for a decade, maybe don’t eat it.

In American Reunion, the denizens of East Great Falls return home for their not-quite ten year high school reunion. Jim (Jason Biggs) and Michelle (Alyson Hannigan) now have a two-year-old son; Oz (Chris Klein) is back from the dead and a B-list sportscaster/celebrity dance show contestant who’s dating sexy nymphette Mia (Katrina Bowden); Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas) has arrived with an array of globetrotting tales; and Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas) is just happy to be included. They plan to spend a nice, quiet weekend catching up before the reunion. Enter Stifler (Seann William Scott). Frustrated by his job as a temp, he wants to have a wild, crazy weekend just like they did back in high school.

Thus our aged foursome is tempted away from their wives and boring jobs by various women and the rekindling of old flames. Oz and Kevin run into their exes Heather (Mena Suvari) and Terrible Vickie (Tara Reid), who is terrible, Finch woos band geek-cum-sexy barmaid Selena (Dania Ramirez), and Jim must resist the advances of Kara (Ali Cobrin), the lithe now-eighteen-year-old he used to babysit.

And thus they continue to act like they’ve never seen boobs before in their entire lives.

Remember that thing I said about the first American Pie where the women were actually fleshed-out, sexually autonomous characters? Well, apparently the law of diminishing returns also applies to quasi-feminism in raunchy movie franchises. The rule of thumb still holds true in that an American Pie film’s quality is directly proportional to the screentime of Alyson Hannigan’s Michelle, and Reunion takes after American Wedding in the misuse of that iconic character. Once again she is crammed into the role of “Wife,” the woman who must be kept unaware of the boys’ sexual misadventures, as if she wouldn’t have been right in there with them.

And frankly, most of the other female characters don’t even make sense. I get it when Terrible Vickie is terrible, because she’s terrible, but why the hell would Heather get mad upon seeing Oz macking on his live-in girlfriend? Why would Kara have any sexual interest in Jim (no offense, but c’mon), especially with such rapacious determination? And why does Michelle threaten to pack up and move in with her grandmother the second Jim commits a sexual misunderstanding, something that has become – like – a full time career for him at this point? I think this all boils down to the biggest problem with the later films in this franchise: These adults are still written like teenagers.

Obviously adults can get into sexual hijinks, probably even more so than your average high school student. But the motivations here are so childish and crudely motivated, they make way less sense when transplanted from the locker-filled halls of Long Beach Poly to a family cul de sac.

Yeah, I’m still not convinced that we’re in Michigan. Better luck next time, fellas. Oh wait…

At least American Reunion has reassembled its core cast (including cameos from Natasha Lyonne, Shannon Elizabeth, Chris Owen, and a slightly expanded part for a finally famous John Cho, who appeared in all 3 American Pies before hitting it big with Harold & Kumar), so it feels more like a legitimate continuation than the stunted Wedding. And you can rarely go wrong with Seann William Scott’s Stifler, the only character whose actions make any sense as he yearns for the glory days of his teen years. His mugging overreactions and faux charm still hold some juice, once again bringing most of the best laughs by the bucketful.

And American Reunion is funny. At least enough to justify its own existence. The bright colorful characters of the original film have become shabby and patched (especially Eugene Levy as Jim’s Dad, who they can not find a use for here, shoving him into a shopworn dress-up montage that stops the movie cold), but the situations they find themselves in are still reasonably diverting. And this is the first film in the entire dick-obsessed franchise to actually show a penis – if only for a second – so I applaud its audacity at the very least.

Unfortunately though, for the most part American Reunion is just a retread of the lackluster American Wedding (although there are fewer gay jokes, thank heavens), only with Neon Trees on the soundtrack instead of Sum 41. This one-two punch is good enough not to totally sink my esteem for the franchise (those first two are just too good), but I don’t think I’d mind if this was the last slice of Pie. There’s no reason to revisit these characters in their current, destitute state.

TL;DR: American Reunion is a decent years-later followup, though it copies the problems of its immediate predecessor.

Rating: 6/10

Word Count: 898
Reviews In This Series
American Pie (Weitz, 1999)
American Pie 2 (Rogers, 2001)
American Wedding (Dylan, 2003)
American Pie Presents: Band Camp (Rash, 2005)
American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile (Nussbaum, 2006)
American Pie Presents: Beta House (Waller, 2007)
American Pie Presents: The Book of Love (Putch, 2009)
American Reunion (Hurwitz & Schlossberg, 2012)

The Levy Wasn't Dry

Year: 2001

Director: J. B. Rogers

Cast: Jason Biggs, Seann William Scott, Shannon Elizabeth

Run Time: 1 hour 48 minutes 

MPAA Rating: R

1999’s American Pie was a box office smash, making stars of (to varying degrees) Jason Biggs, Seann William Scott, and Shannon Elizabeth, and giving Eugene Levy his Leslie Nielsen-esque career realignment. It’s no surprise that it got a sequel with triple the budget, but it is a surprise that American Pie 2 turned out to be the Terminator 2 of teen sex comedies, taking a low budget surprise hit original and ramping it up even bigger and better.

Quick sidebar: Not to get TOO neurotic about a solid comparison, but I do have my doubts that T2 is, as consensus suggests, a better film than The Terminator. I have a soft spot in my heart for he scrappy little sci-fi thriller, but this is all moot considering that both those films are masterpieces and any relative quality is higher or lower by a fraction of a percent. OK. We now return to the review already in progress.

In American Pie 2, everyone’s favorite horny quintet is back from college for the summer! The police are actually doing their job and shutting down house parties, so the boys rent a mansion by the lake for the summer which they can afford by getting jobs as house painters because life was great before the housing market collapsed. Anyway, they all have different goals for their summer, which will come to a head with a huge party at the end of break, although it would be mighty generous to refer to this collection of sex-up daydreams as a “plot.”

Jim (Jason Biggs) wants to hook up with hot exchange student Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth) who is returning at the end of summer, but he still has only had sex once – and terribly, by all accounts – so he enlists band geek Michelle (Alyson Hannigan) – a counselor at a nearby camp – to give him some tips. Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas) wants to learn the art of tantra so he can experience a new universe of pleasure when he is reunited with Stifler’s Mom (Jennifer Coolidge). Oz (Chris Klein) just wants a minute alone so he can have phone sex with his girlfriend Heather (Mena Suvari), who is studying abroad. Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas) continues to be as exciting as a bowl of cold oatmeal, trying to figure out how to be Just Friends with his terrible ex Vickie (Tara Reid). And Stifler (Seann William Scott) just wants to get drunk, have sex, and let the good times roll.

And the filmmakers want to convince us that this is Michigan and not Long Beach, but I ain’t buying it.

I said this movie was the T2 of the franchise and I’m sticking to it. Although it’s even more of a hang-out movie than the meandering original, its sexual hijinks are of a higher caliber, and the one solid throughline (thanks to Jim once again) is the most emotionally satisfying in a franchise with oddly tender wrap-ups, furthering the relationship between Jim and Michelle in an organic, natural way that still allows for wackily shocking sexual misconduct.

And that’s the thing about American Pie 2. Where the original showed naturalistic high school characters, the sequel does the exact same thing, just transplanting them a year into the future. The non-Alyson Hannigan women are much more underserved this time around (Nadia is still just a stick figure with boobs drawn on, Vickie is still terrible, and Heather is piped in occasionally from what I assume is the set of The Musketeer – making stars of your cast makes it difficult to keep them around, so they’re very slightly forgiven) and the gender politics are shakier (though, just like in Dude, Where’s My Car?, the vague undercurrent of homophobia somehow leads Seann William Scott directly into a gay kiss scene, so you won’t catch me complaining – it’s also far less prevalent and aggressive here), but they’re believable college freshmen, trying to act like adults because they’re not in high school anymore, but realizing they still don’t really understand what that entails.

The summer after freshman year was exactly when I started this blog, and I think any rereading of my 2013 material would tell you I can definitely relate.

Where American Pie 2 shows its most massive improvement is the comedy itself, which is much more confident and willing to take risks. The sexual scenarios are turned up to 11, like any good sequel, but they also take the opportunity to diversify the humor, stirring in some equally sophomoric but well-realized slapstick, a couple jokes that arise from sharp dialogue rather than just spoken punchlines to visual gags, and a handful of hijinks that aren’t sex-related at all, making the sexy ones carry an extra punch because the movie has time to breathe.

Also, an American Pie movie’s success is directly proportional to Alyson Hannigan’s screentime, and this iteration of Michelle is the best the franchise would ever see. She’s allowed to develop an actually human angle to the character, keeping the shock gags (which are even brassier –figuratively and literally) but grounding them in something genuine and layered.

The score itself is also much better, descending into spy movie pastiche, noir slinkiness, and cannibalizing any great genre it can to further service the comedy. It’s an unrelentingly fun movie that even survives a grotesquely bloated run time that could sink many a lesser film. Could it do with fewer montages set to Michelle Branch songs? Sure. But in my eyes, American Pie 2 is the perfect evocation of the franchise’s ethos and spirit.

TL;DR: American Pie 2 is an improvement on what was already a raunchy masterwork.

Rating: 9/10

Word Count: 968

Reviews In This Series

American Pie (Weitz, 1999)

American Pie 2 (Rogers, 2001)

American Wedding (Dylan, 2003)

American Pie Presents: Band Camp (Rash, 2005)

American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile (Nussbaum, 2006)

American Pie Presents: Beta House (Waller, 2007)

American Pie Presents: The Book of Love (Putch, 2009)

American Reunion (Hurwitz & Schlossberg, 2012)

Drove My Chevy To The Levy

Year: 1999

Director: Paul Weitz

Cast: Jason Biggs, Chris Klein, Thomas Ian Nicholas

Run Time: 1 hour 35 minutes

MPAA Rating: R

Howdy, folks! Now that Harry Potter and Halloween are safely out of the way, it’s time to begin yet another vaguely defined Popcorn Culture marathon! That’s right, we’re pulling another topic out of left field and embarking on a mostly chronological journey through the cinematic oeuvre of one Seann William Scott, a comic actor who I actually really like and who deserves a closer look.

Mostly, I just want to see what the hell Bulletproof Monk is all about.

Today, we’ll join our dear SWS where his path first crossed with Hollywood: his feature film debut in 1999’s American Pie. The ne plus ultra of high school sex comedies, American Pie follows the exploits of hapless everyteen Jim (Jason Biggs) and his best buddies Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas), the blandest human being this side of Topher Grace, Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas), a weirdo who fancies himself mature and sophisticated, and Oz(Chris Klein), a loveable lacrosse player/gentle giant.

After a raucous party in the home of their douchetastic friend Stifler (Sean W. Scott, as he is credited for the first and only time), they make a pact to lose their virginities by prom night, which is in three weeks’ time. Raunchy hijinks ensue as the boys set their sights on the girls who will hopefully help them become men: Jim on the naughty Eastern European exchange student Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth), Kevin on his terrible girlfriend Vickie (Tara Reid), Oz on lovely choir girl heather (Mena Suvari), and Finch on the school’s entire female population.

Get in line, ladies…

American Pie is The Odyssey for horny young men. Four high schoolers embark on a grand journey, have many incredible adventures, and arrive at their destination only to find that things have changes irrevocably, in their world and within themselves. Only instead of retrieving golden fleeces, they’re having sex with pies and live-streaming girls changing on a late-90’s webcam that really isn’t that much worse than Skype today. But I digress. What I’m saying is that American Pie has a vignette-driven plot that all services the higher throughline of young men realizing that the vaginas they so desperately want to have sex with are attached to women, and maybe those women are more valuable and interesting than they’re giving them credit for.

Now, I’m not saying American Pie is a feminist tract. The character of Nadia is a soulless automaton/breast dispensary that obliterates that idea like an A-bomb.

Although it’s more like a double-D bomb, am I right fellas? High five!

The story is only ever in service to the thoughts and desires of the young men at the center, but it must be said that a lot of the female characters are uncommonly fleshed-out for this kind of film, especially Heather, Vickie, and Vickie’s BFF Jessica (Natasha Lyonne). They’re not depicted as Rubik’s cubes that need to be solved in order to unlock access to boobs, they’re actual characters, even if they still mostly fit into teen movie archetypes. And Alyson Hannigan’s band geek Michelle’s rapacious sexuality is used as a shock gag here, but it eventually becomes a part of a layered, fairly realistic female high school character as the franchise goes on.

And that’s one of the things about American Pie that makes it so remarkable. Its characters are actually recognizable high schoolers. They’re not fast-talking, hyperintelligent Kevin Williamson creations. And they’re not airbrushed 90210 studs and vixens. They’re awkward, sweaty horndogs that quote nerdy kung fu movies and who want to be adults, but aren’t quite sure exactly what that means. Even Oz, as a jock, is a fumbling, insecure young man still growing into his body and his athleticism. These characters feel like real people you’d see in the halls by your locker, and that’s why their exploits are so captivating. They’re grounded in reality so they’re allowed to go absolutely bugnuts with the sexual misadventures.

Also, Michelle is possibly the best character in cinema history.

But I’ve spent so long diving deep into analysis, I bet you’ve almost forgotten this is a movie about dick jokes. Very good dick jokes, but still. American Pie is a movie that has a comical reaction shot from a monkey, so it’s not exactly Kurosawa. Another reason the jokes and situations land so well is that they’re delivered by some truly committed actors (other than Thomas Ian Nicholas, who seems to be in a perpetual daze, pretty much everybody else is bringing their A-game) like Eugene Levy, who is superb as Jim’s awkward father who attempts to appear sexually open while simultaneously maintaining his buttoned-up Ward Cleaver image.

And I suppose I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Seann William Scott in this marathon dedicated to him. Stifler is only ever a one-note character, but his sideline status allows SWS to go cartoonishly big and have a lot of fun. This was his first feature film outing, so the performance is a little rough around the edges, but you can already feel his confidence and charisma bursting through the screen.

Bottom line, I like American Pie a lot. But on this viewing, I couldn’t help but notice the seams of its low budget. First off, the movie’s title looks like it was slapped on in Windows Movie Maker, but there are also a handful of scenes that are a little underlit or otherwise technically flawed. But beyond that, it’s just a delightful teen comedy that I adore from the bottom of my heart.

TL;DR: American Pie is a delightful, reasonably realistic, raunchy teen comedy.

Rating: 8/10

Word Count: 948

Reviews In This Series

American Pie (Weitz, 1999)

American Pie 2 (Rogers, 2001)

American Wedding (Dylan, 2003)

American Pie Presents: Band Camp (Rash, 2005)

American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile (Nussbaum, 2006)

American Pie Presents: Beta House (Waller, 2007)

American Pie Presents: The Book of Love (Putch, 2009)

American Reunion (Hurwitz & Schlossberg, 2012)