L. A. Noir

Year: 2005

Director: Shane Black

Cast: Robert Downey Jr., Val Kilmer, Michelle Monaghan

Run Time: 1 hour 43 minutes

MPAA Rating: R

It's a testament to the high quality of Kiss Kiss Bang Bang that I went in expecting to hate it, but was forced to make a dramatic turnaround. To be fair, I expected to hate it because I was being dumb and confused two titles together so I thought my dad was making us watch Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels. But nevertheless, this film grips you from the moment it begins to the moment it ends, a near perfect neo-noir.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang tells the story of one Harry Lockhart (Robert Downey Jr.), a small time thief who, when on the run from the cops, accidentally barges into a Hollywood audition room and steals the show. When he is flown out to LA for a screen test, he meets a childhood friend, Harmony (Michelle Monaghan), who moved to the city years ago to try and become an actress. 

After riding along with a sarcastic and suave detective named Gay Perry (Val Kilmer) to train for his role, he manages to convince harmony that he is a private eye. Much to his chagrin, Harmony thinks she's in luck because she's in desperate need of investigating her sister's recent death - an apparent suicide, but Harmony has serious doubts. 

Enormous, perky doubts.

Working alongside Gay Perry, Harry begins to unravel a web of crime, deceit, and murder that spreads throughout the city like a particularly violent and bloody case of chlamydia. I shan't get into the plot specifics here, but it is a twisting path that Harry walks down, a thoroughly modern murder mystery packed to the brim with influences from the very best noir cinema and literature.

On top of all that is a highly unexpected sprinkling of structural humor. The entire conceit of Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is that it is a movie being presented to the audience by Harry himself. It's overwhelmingly meta and it's spectacular. Meta movies and I are like Taylor Swift and boys. Most of the time they're dumb but I love them anyway. 

It is with this immense joy for the craft that I can announce that Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is a truly fantastic example of the form. An important thematic thread that runs throughout the film is the divide between fiction and reality, present in the Hollywood setting and the parallels between the film's plot and the in-universe series of pulp crime novels.

Under extremely microscopic analysis, the true intent of the concept becomes a little dodgy, but it's too hilarious and integral to the tone and mood of the movie to affect enjoyment in any important way. Prolific action screenwriter Shane Black, in his directorial debut, serves up a sardonic world filled with wit and sparkle (and casual gore that wouldn't be out of place in a horror film) and the meta humor - largely applied through narration - is just the icing on the cake.

Or the bandage on the... hand? I didn't get much sleep last night.

The entire cast is impressive for a genre film this slick, but the MVP without a doubt is Robert Downey Jr. Still scrabbling to find a foothold in the business after his descent into drug abuse, this hungry young actor had something to prove. And boy did he. Harry Lockhart is equal parts bitter sarcasm and whimpering puppy dog, a man caught somewhere between his id and his heroic perception of himself.

This is the role than won him Iron Man and it shows. He is tongue in cheek and pithy and lovely and also a sublime idiot. Harry is a man struggling to tamp down on his awkward impulses because the ones that slip out get him deeper and deeper in the muck. His cockiness and his deeply flawed psyche are a playground for the talented Downey, who creates a masterpiece of psychology perfectly conjoined with the heightened tone of the film.

So much so that even relatively mundane actions for the genre become hilarious.

I am perhaps not as well-suited to discuss the ins and out of the action genre as my friend Zach Nix, who indeed runs a blog about the very topic. So I won't make a fool of myself by digging into Kiss Kiss Bang Bang any further than I need to other than to sing its manifold praises.

But I will close out by saying that this film is notable for being the first action film to depict a gay character in a protagonist role, which is a tremendously important development in cinema. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is remarkably progressive, so much so that Google lists the movie under its "LGBT Films" category, which is patently ridiculous (and, in fact, indicative of a deeper prejudice at work - just because a film has a gay character doesn't mean that it is a gay film. You wouldn't label Reservoir Dogs "Crime/Action/Hetero" #socialjusticebrennan) but not altogether unearned.

All in all, this is a film with tremendous value, both entertainment-wise and thematically. It tells a riveting mystery story with a punchy upbeat tone and is absolutely a gem of both the genre and the decade. Always worth a watch.

TL;DR: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is a hilarious and sharp mystery movie featuring a top notch performance by Robert Downey Jr.

Rating: 9/10

Word Count: 906

When Harry Met Silly

Year: 2014

Director: David Wain

Cast: Paul Rudd, Amy Poehler, Cobie Smulders

Run Time: 1 hour 23 minutes

MPAA Rating: R

As I make my way through the cinematic landscape of 2014, I'm beginning to notice a pattern. For every tepid comedy film released in 2014, there seems to be a similar and better comedy waiting on the horizon. For every irritating and pointless Zac Efron's That Awkward Moment there's a sprightly and effervescent Zac Efron's Neighbors. For every funny but average Date and Switch (review pending) there's the delightfully twisted They Came Together, our topic for today. And what exactly is that special element that makes all the difference between these sets of paralells?

Randall Park.

Hello.

OK, maybe the films don't live and die on his performances because he's only ever given bit roles. But I continue to maintain that this man is one of the most underutilized Hollywood performers working today. I'm excited for his appearances in the upcoming comedies The Interview and Sex Tape, despite the fact that every time I see his face I will be reminded of the time I walked into a screen door and sliced my nose open when helping him look for his shoes on the set of Awesome Asian Bad Guys (That's right, I just name dropped. Right in front of your face. What are you gonna do about it, punk?).

Anyway I love the guy and I think that any casting director who agrees with me is worth their salt, making any movie with his presence a more well-cast film across the board than its compatriots. See? I was going somewhere with that.

Because jumpin' bananafrass is They Came Together well-cast. This romantic comedy parody would perish without Amy Poehler's sharp-as-a-tack skewering of clumsy leading ladies and Paul Rudd's beatific smile. The overwhelming sincerity of their performances gives the film the straight face it needs in order to avoid drowning itself in winking, clumsy meta humor.

Although goodness knows I love that too.

They Came Together tells the story of two lovers telling the story of how they met. Molly (Poehler) and Joel (Rudd) are two typical romantic comedy protagonists. He, the successful corporate drone with a cheating girlfriend (Cobie Smulders), she the quirky and klutzy owner of a small candy shop in NYC. When Joel's company, Candy Systems & Research, decides to open up a massive shop across the street from Molly's, this complicates their already reluctant love-hate relationship even more.

This plot provides the basic structure for a battalion of cameos from TV actors including New Girl's Max Greenfield, SNL's Bill Hader and Kenan Thompson, 30 Rock's Jack McBrayer, and The Office's Ellie Kemper and Ed Helms. Much in the vein of the slightly less successful but equally buoyant 2013 comedy The To Do List, the film acts as a sandbox for these actors to break out of their established characters and just have some fun playing around in a feature.

The film begins with its most meta moments, which are frequently its weakest. Although it's funny in small doses, nearly the entire setup for the parody is comprised of winking reminders that this is, in fact, a corny romantic comedy. Now, I love self-aware humor, especially in this vein, but even the most delicious chicken risotto would be ruined by the chef standing over your shoulder and whispering "It's chicken risotto. Go on, taste it. It has all the qualities of a chicken risotto. Look, there's the chicken. There's the risotto. Put those together and guess what you get? Chicken risotto!"

In this case Paul Rudd is the chicken and Amy Poehler is the risotto. If you can't see why, you clearly need to get on my level of sophistication in film analysis.

I'll repeat, this is funny, but just a little wearying, like some of the more blatant "IT'S THE SAME" moments in 22 Jump Street. Luckily, as the movie settles into its narrative, it relaxes and allows itself to explore the winding avenues of absurdist humor and sight gags that populate the genre.

But this is no flimsy Meet the Spartans production here. Somewhere significantly closer to Airplane! (my absolute favorite film comedy of all time) than Date Movie, They Came Together delights in lampooning tropes of the genre rather than merely name dropping specific films and hoping people go "Hey! That was a movie I saw! I guess that means I should laugh." It is at this level on which the film operates at its most inspired, including a scene hilariously mocking a cliché I saw naught but four days ago in The Fault in Our Stars.

For there is practically no other film genre more prone to excessive adherence to formula and rife with trite banality than the romantic comedy. This allows They Came Together to set up gags in the vein of some of the strongest humor from the Golden Age of The Simpsons (which will probably come up a lot on this blog, because I've been watching the entire show for my job), meaning that a familiar joke or story beat will be set up, but subverted at the last second with a bit of twisted humor or negated entirely by literalizing the setup in the most preposterous scenario imaginable, provoking incredulous (and inexorable) laughter at every turn.

One might say it metaphorically throws the leaves in our faces.

With an absurd streak visible from space, the film is certainly one to remember. After a decade and change of increasingly anemic pop culture spoofs, They Came Together might just be the film to set Hollywood pop comedy on the right track again.

It's not perfect. It falls prey to an ill-advised scatological gag and the first half is certainly less promising than the second, but if it doesn't blindside you with wickedly sharp satire and keep you cracking up faster than a glacier in an Emmerich film, I'll eat my keyboard.

TL;DR: They Came Together is a breath of fresh air and one of the best genre spoofs since the parody heyday in the 80's.
Rating: 8/10
Should I Spend Money On This? I think you should. only It's 7 bucks on Amazon VOD! Fun for the whole family! You don't even have to put pants on!
Word Count: 1042

Living The Dream

Year: 1994

Director: Wes Craven

Cast: Heather Langenkamp, Robert Englund, Miko Hughes

Run Time: 1 hour 52 minutes

MPAA Rating: R

It's 1994. Since its release ten years before, A Nightmare on Elm Street has seen 5 sequels of increasing inanity, a Freddy-hosted horror anthology spinoff series, and enough cash to fill a thousand Scrooge McDuck-style swimming pools. The series proper ended in 1991 with Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare, the sixth installment overall - one that featured mystical demon worms, Freddy dressing up as the Wicked Witch of the West, a 3D final act, and cameos by Roseanne and Tom Arnold.

Things had come a long way since Craven's ethereal masterpiece shocked audiences by bringing something entirely new and exciting to the genre. He personally hadn't been involved with the series since 1987's A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, for which he produced a story treatment. 

Although it had been three years since they put a stake in the franchise, fans were still clamoring for more. God knows why after the one-two punch of The Dream Child and Freddy's Dead, but this was before I was born so the world was a much more unstable place.

I would never have let this happen.

Seeing an opportunity for capitalizing on fan interest, New Line tapped Wes Craven to head the tenth anniversary Nightmare movie, the seventh in the franchise. He agreed, but once he watched all the previous films, he found he couldn't follow the through line. Considering that it made about as much sense as a Baha Men reunion concert, this was a reasonable reaction.

Whereas your average Joe hack director would up the ante by throwing Freddy in space or sending him somewhere ridiculous like, say, (cough) Manhattan. Being the genius he is, Craven decided to turn it all around and make the absolute gosh darn best horror sequel ever released, an astoundingly postmodern, stunningly intellectual, thrillingly vibrant and terrifying film that is second only to the original film in quality.

The fact that it made about twelve cents at the box office just goes to show that there is no God.

There is, however, Freddy.

Wes Craven's New Nightmare, you see, isn't a Nightmare sequel. It's a real life Nightmare. Heather Langenkamp (Heather Langenkamp) is ten years off of her defining role as Nancy Thompson in A Nightmare on Elm Street. She's married to a special effects technician named Chase Porter (David Newsom) and they have a lovely son named Dylan (Miko Hughes). 

Although she'd really rather forget about horror films, the furor over the ten year Nightmare anniversary  has led to a lot of interviews and talks of a sequel, a film which New Line producer Bob Shaye (Bob Shaye) is begging her to appear in. You see, Wes Craven (Wes Craven) has been having nightmares again, which are the inspiration for a brand new screenplay that's gonna blow them away.

But when Heather is plagued by a series of earthquakes and a crazed fan who likes to call her at home pretending to be Freddy, all she wants is to get out of the Nightmare bubble. When she runs into Robert Englund (Robert Englund) at an event, he laughs her off. But when her husband turns up dead after falling asleep on the highway, displaying a telltale line of four gashes across the torso, Heather begins to suspect that maybe, just maybe, she isn't being crazy (although a history of mental illness runs in her family so... who knows?).

When her son starts sleepwalking, muttering "1, 2, Freddy's coming for you...," and generally behaving like a child in a horror movie, Heather's worst fears are realized. Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund, doing double time) is at it again.

And he's dressed in his Sunday best.

You see, Mr. Krueger isn't fictional. He's a manifestation of an ancient demon whose sole purpose is the murder of innocents. His one weakness is storytellers who, if they come up with a tale captivating enough, can trap him in the story like a genie in a bottle. But once the story becomes too familiar or watered down, the demon is released into the real world.

Much like Hansel & Gretel and several of the more violent fairy tales, A Nightmare on Elm Street is a vessel for this evil presence. The endless string of crappy sequels is cracking the protective seal around the story (nice meta commentary there, Wes) and he likes his Freddy manifestation so much he's gonna bring him to the physical world to play.

Heather, the girl who gave Nancy Thompson her strength, must act as a gatekeeper to keep Freddy away from her world - and her son. The only way to stop Freddy is to trap him inside another great story, and what better story is there than what's actually occurring to her now?

Real life Nightmare actors and producers appear left and right (including Tuesday Night, Nick Corri, and Lin Shaye, who played the schoolteacher in the original) and the actual script for the film makes a cameo as it exactly mirrors real life conversations.

As the world around her begins to blend together with the world of the films (including a lovely confusing bit with the man who played her father, John Saxon (John Saxon)), Heather and Freddy must enter a climactic showdown of wills.

Are you ready, Freddy?

The fact that it takes about nine paragraphs just to get out the basic plot is a perfect example of what a glorious high concept this film has. It also explains why almost nobody really wanted to watch it. Despite being the only actually scary sequel to a horror film, people weren't too pleased being asked to use their brains.

But the fact remains that New Nightmare is one of the smartest horror films out there, and it set the stage for the meta themes of Scream, which would come two years later. While Scream is a meta slasher masterpiece in its own right, New Nightmare approaches its self-awareness with much more subtlety.

For all intents and purposes, this film is set in reality. The earthquake scenes mirror the major quakes that took place in Southern California that same year and actress Heather Langenkamp really was pursued by a deranged stalker who was inspired by her stint as Nancy Thompson (and she did end up marrying a special effects guy!). Not to mention that a major plot point of the movie involves making the very movie you're watching.

I... I... OK.

This film is exactly like what people imagined watching Inception is like (honestly, I found that film much more straightforward than its reputation). The intricate layers of fiction and reality begin to blend together in that effortless Wes Craven fashion that made Freddy Krueger a big star to begin with.

New Nightmare is a blast. It's keenly witty, one of the only slasher movies captivating enough to justify being longer than 90 minutes long, and features the gorgeous Langenkamp essentially reprising one of her most famous roles.

Honestly this film could just be her riding in a car and pouting and I'd be fine with that.

It's clever. It's self-aware without beating its themes to death. It's full of loving callbacks to the classic original. The "reality" scenes are so thoroughly grounded that the horror becomes even more immediate and terrifying. This isn't a movie. This is actually happening. And the justification to get Freddy into the real world is airtight. 

This film's black magic singlehandedly brought Freddy back from the edge, updating his look, and making him legitimately menacing as he'd never been before.

And honestly, Wes Craven is a pretty good actor. It's great fun to see him on the other side of the screen for a change.

Even a couple creaky 90's effects are unable to mar a film this close to perfect. And it's the sixth sequel! Everybody marvel at that for a second, please. By Jason's sixth sequel, he was fighting a telekinetic teenager (actually pretty great, but still a terrible film). By Michael's sixth sequel, he was stalking Josh Hartnett and Michelle Williams around a California boarding school.

It's atmospheric. It follows nightmare logic. It nails the old horror standby of the creepy possessed child. I can't sing this film's praises enough, but I guess I should stop in order to keep my word count lower than a Leo Tolstoy novel.

A picture is worth a thousand words.

Please. If you're in any way a Nightmare fan, watch this film. It's definitely worth your time.

Killer: Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund)

Final Girl: Heather Langenkamp (Heather Langenkamp)

Best Kill: Chase is gutted like a fish while driving on the highway.

Sign of the Times: Everybody's massive cell phones and green text computers; Chase falls asleep singing "Losing My Religion."

Scariest Moment: Dylan sleepwalks across a freeway; Seeing Robert Englund out of makeup.

Weirdest Moment: Freddy's tongue wraps around Heather's neck. Also, the whole concept of the entire film.

Champion Dialogue: "Screw your pass!"

Body Count: 4; further proof that high body counts don't prove that they're good movies - this seems to be Wes Craven's personal mantra.

1. Chuck gets a glove in his throat.
2. Terry gets a glove in his chest.
3. Chase has his chest slashed open while he's driving down the highway.
4. Julie is slashed and pulled onto the ceiling of the hospital room. 

TL;DR: Wes Craven's New Nightmare is a meta masterpiece that doesn't ever deserve to be forgotten.
Rating: 10/10
Word Count: 1586
Reviews In This Series
A Nightmare on Elm Street (Craven, 1984)
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (Sholder, 1985)
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (Russell, 1987)
A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (Harlin, 1988)
A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (Hopkins, 1989)
Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (Talalay, 1991)
Wes Craven's New Nightmare (Craven, 1994)
Freddy vs. Jason (Yu, 2003)
A Nightmare on Elm Street (Bayer, 2010)