Challenge Accepted

I was patrolling the blogosphere when I checked out the newest post on Freddy in Space, a blogger I definitely want to be friends with. Some girl on Twitter created this challenge, and I'm gonna follow in his footsteps and fill it out too! Ten questions at a time, now, this ain't a Tolstoy novel.

My only rule for myself was that I couldn't use the same movie twice, and I mostly managed to avoid using multiple movies from the same franchise. Here we go!

1. Scariest Kid Character: Santi (Junio Valverde)

Horror is full of kids that scare the living bajaysus out of us, but the one that most frequently sticks in my mind is the ghost Santi from Guillermo del Toro's The Devil's Backbone. Santi isn't necessarily an evil character - he's the ghost of an orphaned boy who was killed by the caretaker of a Spanish war shelter - but for the first half of the movie, before we learn his intentions, he is a truly terrifying specter. In life, Santi was shot in the head and drowned in a pool, so his ghost is doomed to spend eternity surrounded by a haze of water, blood swirling up out of his wound. It's... unreal. Del Toro's second tier visual effects masterpiece, right behind Backbone's sister film - Pan's Labyrinth.

2. Best Sex Scene Murder: Twitch of the Death Nerve (1971)

A classic is a classic. This is the scene that inspired many a Friday the 13th. Two randy teens sneak into an empty house and get it on in a stranger's bed, only to be speared mid-coitus, forever locked in an embrace of death. Or, you know, boning.

3. Creepiest Dead Body: Creepshow (1982)

After Upson Pratt's apartment is overrun by vermin, leading the villainous businessman to an untimely death, we get a skin-crawling close-up of cockroaches pouring out of his mouth, then bursting out of his skin. I just... I can't. Moving on.

4. A Horror Musical You Enjoy: Evil Dead the Musical

With slapstick comedy, gory zombie mayhem, and peppy musical numbers all rolled into one, Evil Dead The Musical is right up my alley. In fact, I don't think anything in the world is more up my alley than this show. I had the privilege of getting to see this show with some friends of mine in Las Vegas last October, and it was akin to a religious experience (much like when I went to see The Exorcist at the Geffen Playhouse with Cassidy). We sat in the VIP Splatter Zone and got covered in sickly red Kool Aid blood during one of the most fun nights of my life.

5. Funniest Horror Movie Character: Reg Morgan (Damon Herriman)

As the snivelly little brother of the Morgan Organic duo in Australia's 100 Bloody Acres, Damon Herriman creates a character that is simultaneously unwittingly dangerous and uncommonly adorable. Somebody buy me a DVD of this movie.

6. Favorite Woman in the World of Horror: Jamie Lee Curtis

I refuse to believe that anybody out there put any other actress as an answer to this question. Jamie Lee Curtis is the scream queen. The daughter of Psycho's Janet Leigh, she found her first movie role as the virginal Laurie Strode in John Carpenter's Halloween. She made mistakes (don't drop the knife, Jamie!), but she clawed, stabbed, and fought her way through the film and two more sequels. She found success in the horror genre and made her way through Prom Night, Terror Train, The Fog, Halloween II, and Halloween H20, becoming a massive star along the way, both within the genre and without.

7. A Horror You'd Be In: Scream franchise

Ask any of my friends, they'd say the same thing. With my knowledge of horror movie trivia, my keen awareness that my life is a slasher film, and my infinite supply of sarcasm, I'd be a perfect fit for this franchise. I could get in on the next sequel as Randy's counterpart, and I'd definitely live to see Scream 6. No promises beyond that though.

8. Favorite Alien-Related Horror Movie: The Thing (1982)

John Carpenter's film is scary for a multitude of reasons, not the least of which are some utterly grotesque practical effects. A team at an arctic facility discover an alien space ship buried in the ice, and soon realize that they're not alone. A shape-shifting alien creature has taken up with them, masquerading as various members of the crew as it slowly devours them one by one. Who is the Thing? Who isn't the Thing? A classic paranoia thriller that I'm sure is a metaphor for the Cold War or something smart like that.

9. Best Horror TV Series: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997 - 2003)

Possibly the gayest thing horror has to offer. Buffy is tough, she's spunky, she's fabulous. With a crew of wisecracking friends (God, I'm making this sound terrible), Buffy battles vampires, demons, and even the manifestation of Evil itself. Featuring one of TV's first lesbian couples and a bevy of strong female characters, Joss Whedon launched a new wave on onscreen feminism. Hush, The Body, and Once More With Feeling are three of the best hours television would ever see.

10. A Serial Killer You Hate: Jigsaw

The one subgenre I have absolutely no patience for is torture porn and Saw is responsible for the worst of it.

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Reviews in This Series
Horror Lover Challenge Part 1 (August 16, 2013)
Horror Lover Challenge Part 2 (August 25, 2013)
Horror Lover Challenge Part 3 (August 28, 2013)

Horror on Party Beach

For our podcast episode about this very film, please click here.

Hello! The time has come for my big announcement!

I just got hired to write for an indie publication called CinemaBeach. It's unpaid, but there are some press perks and it's a very exciting opportunity.

I will be running a horror column called Killer Waves and reviewing new indie horror releases, which means I get to go to the Laemmle Theatre in Beverly Hills (and the nearby Sprinkles Cupcake ATM) a lot more often.

I will of course keep posting here. I like to review every movie I see and CinemaBeach has no use for mainstream movie reviews.

However, when I write a post for the website, I will link to it here and consider my work done for the day. One post a day is my goal and I don't think anybody can complain if that post is in a slightly different format.

My first official review in my new capacity is of the Australian import 100 Bloody Acres, and please check it out. I'm very excited.

Note: Because the format is different on CinemaBeach and doesn't include ratings, I will post my usual information here along with a link to the article.

100 Bloody Acres

Year: 2013

Director: Cameron Cairnes

Cast: Damon Herriman, Angus Sampson, Anna McGahan

Run Time: 1 hour 31 minutes

MPAA Rating: UR

Leave it to the Aussies to find the fun in bloody mayhem. 100 Bloody Acres is filled with wicked glee ,whether it’s presenting a severed hand, a vat of carnage, or a local radio jingle. Taking place in a small town in the Australian Outback, the film follows a group of three teenagers who are on their way to a music festival. When their car breaks down (as vehicles in these types of movies are wont to do), they are given a lift by Reg Morgan (Damon Herriman) of Morgan Organic, a local blood and bone fertilizer company.

Unfortunately, times have been tough for Reg and his brother Lindsay (Angus Sampson) and they have been forced to cut corners in order to make ends meet. Lately Reg has been culling new blood and bone material by appropriating still warm bodies from roadside wrecks. He is in the middle of delivering a bloody metalhead when the hitchhikers discover the corpse and the brothers are faced with a tough decision.

On one hand, they could threaten them to keep their mouths shut and send them on their merry way.

On the other, they could really use fresh fertilizer for a big delivery this afternoon.

What ensues are hearty laughs, geysers of blood, and a comic examination of the interactions between country folk and city slickers. This horror comedy is decidedly more funny than scary (the filmmakers were more keen on making you cringe instead of shriek), but the humor is so devilish that the dearth of scare sequences is not to be lamented. Some would even go so far as to call this film a straight comedy, but the humor is hung on the framework of movies like Saw or Hostel, and in fact could not have existed without their influence. As it happens, the audience is too busy laughing to discuss the intricacies of genre.

A standout performance is Damon Herriman, whose Reg is simple, polite to a fault (even when taping someone’s mouth shut), and too scared of his big brother to raise a stink when it comes to his alternative business methods. Cute as a puppy dog, Herriman somehow manages to make Reg an audience favorite despite some of his more morally reprehensible actions. His inherent goodness hangs in the balance of a delightfully subtle portrayal for which the filmmakers should be immensely grateful. Drinking a juice box while covered in blood is a naturally funny concept. But with Herriman behind the wheel, it is not only a silly gag but an important character moment.

Also a standout is Anna McGahan’s Sophie, a strong woman whose role is key in subverting the historically misogynistic slant of the torture genre that the film is riffing on. There is a particularly vicious case of slut shaming at the middle mark that would make any feminist cringe, but the characters that view Sophie’s sexuality as immoral get their comeuppance in the end. In fact, a diatribe against her actions is explicitly detrimental to one character’s survival. It reflects very well on the filmmakers that they not only take a stance on a hot button issue, but avoid bludgeoning the audience with a “moral”. It’s obvious that we should root for her character, and we do. That’s all there is to it, no need to make a fuss.

One of the biggest strengths of the movie (besides Sophie being one tough sheila) is that every character’s actions logically follow from their circumstances and personality. Albeit that logic is somewhat twisted, but it makes perfect sense in the heightened cinematic reality of the film. There is a complete lack of dumb horror movie character behavior and, though mistakes are made, the setups are unforced and avoid the common “Don’t go in the basement, stupid!” pitfalls.

Regrettably, sometimes Australia-specific jokes or concepts will fall flat for American audiences (John Butler? Australia Day?), but in general the humor is broad enough for international audiences to enjoy and sharp enough that even if one doesn’t understand a particular cultural reference, it frequently adds to the absurdity rather than detracting from the audience’s understanding. But that is beside the point, because the film is necessarily Australian. Many plot points hinge on social, economical, and environmental structures unique to the country. For example, many horror movies accentuate the protagonist’s predicament by placing her in a far-off location where nobody can hear her scream – the mountains, a cabin in the woods, and sometimes even space.

In Australia, every single place is like that.

The movie is far from flawless, but the humor is satisfying and rich, the gore is suitably realistic and campy for the bloodthirsty horror faithful, and the underlying message is sincere but not too preachy. 100 Bloody Acres is a must-see for fans of comedy and horror alike, although more squeamish audience members may wish to sit this one out.

TL;DR: Bloody good fun, with a uniquely feminist and frequently hilarious riff on the backwoods torture genre.

Rating: 8/10

Should I Spend Money on This? It might be hard to catch it in a theater, but it's a worthy film to catch on demand for a night in.

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