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So I may have taken a years-long hiatus in the middle of 1985, but from now I do intend to keep on moving forward at a semi-regular pace with Census Bloodbath, my project to watch and review every slasher movie from the 1980s. Of course, that will get more and more difficult as the decade careens straight into the video boom, allowing a higher number of lower quality movies to flood the market all at once, but in 1986, that hasn't 100% kicked in yet.
That doesn't mean we don't have a lot on our plate though. At my latest count, the year has a whopping 48 titles to get through! While 1985 had just two more slashers than 1984, we're now inflating that year's number by an additional 19 titles. So let's take a look at what lies ahead, shall we?
I've already reviewed all the big franchise titles and most of the major releases from 1986. So what's left? Some of these titles are Z-list classics that I'm excited to finally take a look at (Hunter's Blood, Spookies, Crawlspace), some I had literally never heard of before doing the research for this list (Escape from Coral Cove, Neon Maniacs, Las Vegas Serial Killer), and at least one is recognized as a good movie by actual real people who exist outside of the cult film space (Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer). I can't wait to find out which ones I love, which ones I hate, and which ones are so baffling I have no choice but to respect them!
Movies in bold are films I had already reviewed at the time this was posted. Once I write each review, I will link to it from this page.
December Pookal (January 14)
The Fantasist (August)
Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (August 1)
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (August 22)
Psycho Girls (August 29)
December Pookal (January 14)
The Killer is Still Among Us/L'assassino è ancora tra noi (February 7)
The Hitcher (February 21)
Night of Fear/Nag van Vrees (February 28)
Night of Fear/Nag van Vrees (February 28)
Girls School Screamers (March)
Spookies (March)
Revenge/Blood Cult 2 (March)
Chopping Mall (March 21)
April Fool's Day (March 27)
The Zero Boys (March 27)
The Zero Boys (March 27)
Torment (April)
Carnage (April 23)
Midnight Killer/Morirai a mezzanotte (April 24)
Doorman (May)
Mr. Wrong/Dark of the Night (May 2)
Doorman (May)
Mr. Wrong/Dark of the Night (May 2)
Killer Party (May 9)
Crawlspace (May 21)
Escape from Coral Cove/Tou chuet sam woo hoi (May 21)
Escape from Coral Cove/Tou chuet sam woo hoi (May 21)
Knife Under the Throat/Le couteau sous la gorge (June 18)
Psycho III (July 2)The Fantasist (August)
Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (August 1)
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (August 22)
Psycho Girls (August 29)
Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (September 24)
Mark of Cain (September 24)
Hunter's Blood (September 26)
Sorority House Massacre (October)
Deadly Friend (October 10)
Trick or Treat (October 24)
Bodycount/Camping del terrore (October 28)
Neon Maniacs (November 14)
Slaughter High (November 14)
The Wind (November 17)
Bestia Nocturna (December 6)
Body Count (unknown)
Cards of Death (unknown)
Dreamaniac (unknown)
Evil Laugh (unknown)
Mark of Cain (September 24)
Hunter's Blood (September 26)
Sorority House Massacre (October)
Deadly Friend (October 10)
Trick or Treat (October 24)
Bodycount/Camping del terrore (October 28)
Neon Maniacs (November 14)
Slaughter High (November 14)
The Wind (November 17)
Bestia Nocturna (December 6)
Body Count (unknown)
Cards of Death (unknown)
Dreamaniac (unknown)
Evil Laugh (unknown)
Goremet, Zombie Chef from Hell (unknown)
Hour of Fear/A hora do Medo (unknown)The House of the Blue Shadows (unknown)
Into the Darkness (unknown)Las Vegas Serial Killer (unknown)
Lucker the Necrophagus (unknown)
Night Ripper! (unknown)
Spine (unknown)
Truth or Dare?/A Critical Madness (unknown)Word Count: 530
That’ll be the Royal ‘We’ Mr Klein - as a rule I tend to find your reviews more entertaining than the average Slasher film, so my plate will remain reasonably clear as you chew your way through Horror Movie ‘86.
ReplyDeleteI didn’t NEED to tell you that, but it amuses me to do so, for I am a cruel, cruel man.😉
On an actually-serious note, I have just popped in here from your review of KILLER WORKOUT and will quite shamelessly seize the opportunity to bemoan the fact that not a single creative seems to have seized on the obvious, yet delightful tagline ‘KILLER WORKOUT - It’s Time To Get Ripped’.
Also, it is an actual tragedy that film isn’t an old shame from Arnold Schwarzenegger’s past - The Governator would have absolutely nailed the role of Keep Fit Psycho Killer.
At any rate, I appreciate you sitting back and watching me suffer.
DeleteDon’t worry, it’s pure schadenfreude and no sadism was involved: I’m not delighting in you pain, just deeply relieved not to be sharing in it.
DeleteHonest.👹
Waitaminute, the eponymous ‘Killer Workout’ is AEROBICS?!?
ReplyDeleteTruly, the only thing these chuckleheads knew about making a movie was that they wanted to make a movie and possibly how to film a movie: I mean elementary Slasher-movie logic suggests that if you want an environment rich in violent potential you go for the one with dudes lifting dangerously heavy weights in the interests of making themselves lethally-ripped (and preferably with solid “My **** is bigger than your **** so let me prove it by being the biggest **** possible” byplay to set up an unusual amount of ‘Whodunnit’ energy for a Slasher movie).
I’m not saying ‘MISTER UNIVERSE WITH MURDERS!’ would have been easy, but tell me that wouldn’t have been a big sharp hook for a Slasher Movie.
Heck, it worked for PREDATOR in the same year, even.
Honestly, based on the evidence, they didn't know how to film a movie either. If I recall correctly, 1989's Death Spa eventually swooped in to add a few more muscle men to the equation (and be much more fun in the process).
DeleteOn the other hand DEATH SPA definitely loses points for running with a man obviously-lesser title (Though I’m actually not sure what the preferable alternative would be - FULL BOIL? DEATH SAUNA?).
DeleteAlso, I would be lying if one pretended that ‘more muscle men’ were an automatic bonus according to my usual ratings scheme (I incline rather more to Venus than to Hercules or Apollo), even though a title like KILLER WORKOUT obviously demands no small number of Muscle Boys, preferably with menaces (Can’t have too many promising young men in a Slasher movie whodunnit, need to keep the audiences on their toes).
Holy humidifiers, you weren’t kidding about DEATH SPA Vs KILLER WORKOUT - mere comparison of the posters makes it plain that the former (Despite having a somewhat weaker title) had a far stronger idea of what it wanted to be as a horror picture.
ReplyDelete‘You’ll Sweat Blood’ manages to bring suitably zesty silliness and yet still come across as promisingly sinister with the help of that Dramatic imagery - meanwhile that painting on the KILLER WORKOUT poster, coupled to an amazingly limp tagline, just suggests Death By SNU SNU (Which is amusing, but not quite the sort of impression a Slasher film needs, dead meat or no dead meat).
… wait a minute, ‘Francis X. McCarthy’ is the actor and not the character? Holy moley!
… “possessed fish”?!? For the love of Saint Andrew and Saint Nicholas, please don’t explain that one, I’d only be doomed to disappointment or Lovecraftian Insanity.
On a more serious note, if there isn’t a Slasher movie called DISMEMBERS ONLY then I can only assume it’s because Hollywood Horror cinema has wasted the better part of five decades.
Hmm… I can’t quite decide if that should be a Slasher film cutting its way through the luckless members of a video club in the Year 20** (For that properly retro ‘Hey! That’s now ** number of years ago’ energy) or more of a Slasher-meets-Gothic costume drama watching from the peanut gallery as a posh gentleman’s club is gutted.
It has only now struck me that the title ‘DISMEMBERS ONLY’ and the tagline ‘Prepare To Get Ripped’ go together like strawberries and cream.
ReplyDelete