I Do Believe They Think I Am Some Sort Of God

Year: 1983

Director: Richard Marquand

Cast: Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher

Run Time: 2 hours 11 minutes

MPAA Rating: PG

Capping off a trilogy is a tricky thing. Indiana Jones did it right, redefining the dynamic by roping in Sean Connery as Indy’s father. But so often a trilogy can descend into silly spectacle like Scream 3 or fade into relative anonymity like The Godfather: Part III. And how does one expect to follow two pristine entries like Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back? It’s a challenging proposition, so I don’t blame George Lucas & Co. for not really trying.

Ya burnt! Let’s get into my justification before the people with pitchforks find out where I live.

For the first time in the trilogy, things pick up more or less where they left off. Han Solo (Harrison Ford) is still frozen in carbonite, providing the sluglike crime boss Jabba the Hutt’s (Larry Ward) walls with quite the conversation piece. Leia (Carrie Fisher) is still in love with him for no discernible reason. And Luke (Mark Hamill) is still a whiny spacebaby, only now he styles himself as a Jedi Knight, despite never actually having finished his training with the ailing Yoda (Frank Oz). They rescue Han from Jabba’s wretched hive of scum and villainy, and rejoin the Rebellion to aid their mission to stop the Empire from completing work on a brand new Death Star.

Luke’s true test of becoming a Jedi master begins here: will he succumb to his hate and anger and become a pawn of Darth Vader (David Prowse body, James Earl Jones VO) and the wicked Emperor (Ian McDiarmid)? Or will he find the light and hope and crap that will guide him to the right side of the Force? A battle ensues on and in orbit of the forest moon of Endor, with Han, Leia, Chewbacca (Peter Mayhew), R2-D2 (Kenny Baker) and C-3PO (Anthony Daniels) fighting alongside a native tribe of teddy bears called Ewoks (Warwick Davis and a bunch of other people) to shut down the shield surrounding the star and Lando Calrissian (Billy Dee Williams) leading the space battle above, because I guess he was the only named character they had left and Obi Wan’s ghost (Alec Guinness) wasn’t gonna do it, as much as his death entirely fails to hamper his presence in the material world.

In another life, George Lucas probably would have been a ghost hunter.

Return of the Jedi has been the subject of much fan derision over the years. “The Ewoks are stupid! It’s just another Death Star!” I have an equally low opinion of the film, but for almost entirely different reasons. Although I agree that the Ewoks are poorly executed with their stiff, unmoving plastic surgery lips, their presence grants us a reprieve from the biggest weakness of Jedi: the human characters.

Luke, Leia, and Han Solo have never had particularly interesting arcs, because they’ve never really been asked to. But all of a sudden, it’s the end of a trilogy. Some kind of arc needs to be fulfilled, so the trio is tossed into a character development blender set to warp speed. Luke especially gets hit full in the face with his so-called emotional journey, squashed into the “inner conflict between light and dark” storyline implied by Empire. His endless, tedious exchanges with Darth Vader and the Emperor would be interesting if we had any insight into his character or the struggles this script pretends he has, but it’s just a mountain of New Age Forcebabble with completely incomprehensible stakes.

Return of the Jedi also lurches from a major gearshift tonally. Where Luke’s half of the story grows more needlessly serious and introspective, the rest of the film descends into the lunatic chaos of a cartoon. Yes, the Ewoks are a symptom of this, but they’re by a wide margin less irritating than Jabba the Hutt’s cabal of snickering evil puppets, which look like rejected goblins from Labyrinth. Or the dastardly calliope score. Or the hyperbolic screams every unnamed character seems to give whenever they’re knocked over.

But I kind of loved those screams, so I won’t dwell on that.

It’s taken me about a week to crank this review out, because I just can’t find it in my heart to give a crap about Return of the Jedi. It’s a thin endcap to a massive franchise, and that’s fine. It does enough to not stomp all over the massive legacy of Star Wars, both as a special effects spectacle (the land speeder chase on Endor is beyond reproach, even if it has some shaky rear projection) and as a blockbuster titan (They may not be up to much this time around, but there mere presence of the returning characters is magnetic enough to overcome that; and John Williams is mostly coasting on old compositions, but what compositions they are!) but it’s really just not that good.

I hate to say it, but it’s true. Return of the Jedi is all over the place, shoving characters into and out of its lopsided narrative at random (poor Boba Fett – I’ve never understood exactly why the bounty hunter who appears in five minutes of Empire is so darn-tootin’ popular, but he deserves better than the Three Stooges demise he’s handed here), lurching through a truncated repeat of the Death Star plot, and ladling a heavy second helping of family lineage intrigue that drowns continuity. It’s still Star Wars, so it’s at least an engaging popcorn space adventure, but Return of the Jedi was the first time the series showed signs that not every entry in the canon was going to be an out-and-out masterpiece.

TL;DR: Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi is a tonally imbalanced, childish conclusion to an otherwise terrific trilogy.

Rating: 5/10

Word Count: 972

Reviews In This Series

Star Wars (Lucas, 1977)

Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (Kershner, 1980)

Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (Marquand, 1983)

Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (Abrams, 2015)
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (Edwards, 2016)
Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (Johnson, 2017)
Solo: A Star Wars Story (Howard, 2018)

Well Princess, It Looks Like You Managed To Keep Me Here A While Longer

Year: 1980

Director: Irvin Kershner

Cast: Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher

Run Time: 2 hours 4 minutes

MPAA Rating: PG

Our continued journey into the original Star Wars trilogy has immediately taken us from one of the most incalculably important blockbuster films of all time to the pinnacle of sequeldom: one of the few part 2’s that most cinephiles agree is an improvement on the original. Whether or not I subscribe to that belief will soon be revealed…

Not that it actually matters in the grand scheme of things.

The Empire Strikes Back (or Star Wars: Episode V, as the opening crawl would proudly and befuddlingly proclaim) gets right to the point, now that all the pesky mythmaking has been dispensed of in Star Wars (now retconned with the pointless subtitle Episode IV: A New Hope – Big Brother insists it has always been this way). We join our hero Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) at the Rebel stronghold on the ice planet Hoth. The Empire discovers their whereabouts and the forces flee after a battle that boldly insists that, where Star wars was a dazzling spectacle the likes of which you’d never seen before, this was turning things up to 11.

After the battle, Luke takes droid pal R2-D2 (Kenny Baker) to the swamp planet Dagobah to train to be a Jedi master under the tutelage of Yoda (Frank Oz). Han Solo (Harrison Ford), who wanted to ditch the Rebels long ago, finds himself tasked with evading Imperial forces, towing along Chewbacca (Peter Mayhew), C-3PO (Anthony Daniels), and reluctant love interest Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher). They eventually converge when it comes time to battle the evil Darth Vader (David Prowse body, James Earl Jones voice).

Watch out, Luke! He’s armed with a light saber and Larry Springer test results!

This is easily the shortest Star Wars plot summary I’ve ever written, and for good reason. There’s really not a hell of a lot of story here, as the film divides most of its time between the swashbuckling radio serial adventures of the Millennium Falcon crew and Luke’s spiritual journey in the swamp. Both of these halves are strong and have their own unique merits, but by the end they fail to cohere into something resembling a distinct storyline. The Empire Strikes Back is the interstitial link between the first and last entries in a trilogy, and it really feels like it.

But I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Star Wars movies just don’t have very solid plotting, so this is pretty much par for the course. The real sin in this narrative is committed on Princess Leia, who has had a spine-ectomy in the years between A New Hope and now, converting from a headstrong, silver-tongued firecracker to a cooing damsel in distress opposite Harrison Ford, with whom we’re begged to believe she has chemistry. It might be the result of the performances or just the profound chastity of the Star Wars universe, but the only sparks that are flying here are from Chewbacca repairing the warp drive.

Sorry, guys. I’m sure you can find a nice, cheap pitchfork sharpener on Amazon.

But Star Wars has never been about story. It’s about a universe, and boy does Empire build on what is mostly implied by Star Wars. We explore the meaning of the Force more, yeah yeah whatever (the magic powers are cool, but I’m sick of ancient yogis trying to convince Luke not to use his awesome laser sword to slice the crap out of everything), but we also get to really stretch our limbs and see what majestic planets and mighty creatures it has to offer.

The sheer ambition of Empire is astonishing, but by pushing the envelope even further, it also opened itself up to more effects that didn’t quite age well. Honestly the proportion of stiff puppets of obvious rear projection shots is probably slightly higher than the relatively low budget original, but on that same token its successes are much more resounding. The cloud city of Bespen, the asteroid cluster, the swamps of Dagobah, and the chilly wasteland of Hoth are realized in grand Space Opera fashion.

And now that George Lucas has stepped down from his wobbly director’s chair, boy does the action sing. From the get-go there’s much more movement clarity and geographical precision in the flying battles: You can actually tell who’s in which ship, what exactly they’re doing, and what direction the lasers are firing (from which cannon), which is invaluable fuel to get your heart pumping. And when the film’s climactic light saber battle arrives, all caution is thrown to the wind. It’s a glorious sequence, a broadly expansive bit of light-show combat through the steam-filled underbelly of Bespen that is the single most visually striking scene in the entire trilogy, making expert use of color, light, and the camera in addition to its groundbreaking effects, something the films so frequently forget to do.

Behold.

So, there you have it. The Empire Strikes Back polishes the gem that was Star Wars into a dazzling sparkle of adventure cinema. It builds on that already iconic universe (as does John Williams with his score, heaping even more bombastic themes into the mix) and bestows it with actual filmmaking skill in addition to fine technical craftsmanship.

Unfortunately, this comes at the expense of the already weak characters. They drift aimlessly though the beautifully environs of this movie, hardly even trying to glom onto a morsel of an arc or – heaven forbid – a sustained conflict. And Mark Hamill slips to the back of the acting pack with an explosive overreaction in an iconic moment. Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. Luckily Yoda is a solid clean-up hitter, bringing an indelible Frank Oz energy that makes the Hamill scenes not only watchable but incredibly fun.

So, is Empire Strikes Back better than Star Wars? In many quadrants, it’s an unequivocal improvement. But in just as many, it doesn’t capture quite the same scrappy magic. For me personally, it’s still a toss-up, but a good one. Both are incredible works of blockbuster filmmaking that I’m grateful have brought so much joy to so many people around the world.

TL;DR: Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back is a bigger, not necessarily better, but equally impressive sequel.

Rating: 8/10

Word Count: 1062

Reviews In This Series

Star Wars (Lucas, 1977)

Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (Kershner, 1980)

Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (Marquand, 1983)

Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (Abrams, 2015)
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (Edwards, 2016)
Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (Johnson, 2017)
Solo: A Star Wars Story (Howard, 2018)

We Meet Again At Last

Year: 1977

Director: George Lucas

Cast: Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher 

Run Time: 2 hours 1 minutes

MPAA Rating: PG

2016 was such a rough year for celebrity deaths that it was practically impossible to find the time to pay tribute to all of them. As I continue to spend January sifting through the wreckage of the year that was and creating a clean slate for a year that will require everything that I’ve got, here begins our belated, beloved tribute to the late, great Carrie Fisher.

Plus, it’s probably a crime that I’ve written a movie blog for three years and haven’t covered the original Star Wars trilogy yet.

So, Star Wars. A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away and all that. Never have I felt more impotent as a reviewer, because first of all there’s no way anyone reading this needs to be persuaded as to whether or not to watch the movie. Second of all, even if you haven’t seen it, there’s almost no reason to include a plot summary because there may not be a person in the world who doesn’t at least know the broad strokes of the story. I’m watching these with a person who has never seen them before (a delicacy in this day and age) and a week ago he could have told you just as much about Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, and their lineage as he can today. But format dictates a summary, so here we go.

The evil Empire is developing a planet-killing weapon for which Felicity Jones and other Rebel troops have obtained the secret plans. These have landed in the hands of one Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher, may she rest in peace), right before her ship comes under attack by imperial baddie Darth Vader (David Prowse with VO by James Earl Jones). She quickly hides the plans in the droid R2-D2 (Kenny Baker, may he also rest in peace) and bids him to use an escape pod to flee the ship with his partner C-3PO (Anthony Daniels). Thus they land on Tatooine (though, to my knowledge, the planet’s name isn’t given in the movie), where they are brought into the service of lonely farm boy Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill).

The Empire’s search for the plans forces Luke out of his home and he teams up with his only hope, Obi Wan Kenobi (Alec Guinness, who must have owed somebody a favor) to get the plans to the planet Alderaan. To this end they hire smuggler pilot Han Solo (Harrison Ford) and his first mate, the furry Wookie Chewbacca (Peter Mayhew). They embark on a swashbuckling adventure to save the princess, deliver the plans, and take down the Empire’s Death Star once and for all.

Or rather, once.

What’s most remarkable to me about Star Wars (please note that I’m reviewing the Despecialized Edition, as close to the original theatrical release as it’s possible to get) is how it’s simultaneously small-scale and the biggest thing imaginable. Writer-director George Lucas crams an entire universe of history, religion, and culture into a relatively simple story: a moody rural teen wants to get out into the world and go to space college, but instead he gets swept into some grand derring-do. I’m a little annoyed they name drop the Clone Wars, thus cementing them permanently into the canon, but the vast universe alluded to in the dialogue is a marvel of blockbuster world-building.

Which leads us directly into my second favorite thing about the Star Wars universe. This stuff looks old. We’re not living in a shiny, pristine Star Trek utopia. This all happened a long time ago, and all this “futuristic” technology was developed even longer ago than that. The props are battered and the sets are caked with sand and dirt, as if they’ve really existed for all this them. The implied history present in just the background of Star Wars is jaw-dropping.

Though, whether or not I actually want to HEAR about that history in detail is another question entirely.

Yeah, I can’t say that the extended Star Wars universe is a thing of glory, but the implication of it provides for an epic, large scale cinematic experience that is entirely unassailable. And what an experience Star Wars is! It’s one of the films that ushered in the modern blockbuster era, and there’s not a shred of doubt why. It’s perhaps the most groundbreaking work of special effects magic ever conceived. Obviously, considering it was released in 1977, some effects haven’t aged well (like the dime store werewolf chatting with the criminal element of the Mos Eisley Cantina), but the true marvel is in just how much hasn't aged.

Star Wars’ ability to get you to accept the tactile reality of space is damn uncanny. Watching the final Death Star battle, you find yourself questioning absolutely nothing, a remarkable achievement of model work that is still unparalleled. Sure the computer readouts are 70’s monochrome displays, but the TIE fighters rushing through a dizzy starscape are timeless.

The effects breathe life into the film, as exemplified by one of my favorite characters: R2-D2. The fact that it’s even possible to craft a loveable figure who can only communicate through beeps and a flashing light is in itself a testament to the filmmaking prowess at work here. Through dialogue, Kenny Baker’s impeccable physical performance, and the work of the effects team that allows the unit to move freely, it’s almost frighteningly easy to be convinced that this is an actual robot with its own autonomy.

And f**king John Williams, man. The fact that he threw his all into this ludicrous sci-fi project about a walking carpet fighting a giant space ball that shoots lasers changed everything. Although his best compositions are yet to come (his iconic imperial march doesn’t debut until the next one, believe it or not), the lush, instantly iconic orchestral score lends Star Wars a gravity that buffers it against criticism that it shouldn’t be considered a legitimate entry into the pantheon of cinema art.

There are VERY few orchestral compositions that can provoke audiences of all ages to spontaneously applaud.

But Brennan, what of those characters that populate this despicably well-realized world? What of that intricate Star Wars plotting? I’m about to drop a harsh truth on you guys. Star Wars movies almost never have good plots. Here Luke is bustled through a fairly basic adventure narrative that’s easy enough to follow, but there’s so much spectacle, his arc from farm boy to Rebel hero is shoved into the shadows. He’s an archetype and so are his friends, so the film never really feels the need to bother with them.

The acting is likewise exactly what it needs to be. Although the costume performers Mayhew, Daniels, Baker, and even Earl Jones to an extent must and do give nuanced performances that lend credibility to very physical roles, nobody human is giving a truly great performance, with the exception of maybe Alec Guinness. But that’s not what Star Wars is about. The sheer craft on display here is utterly indispensible, and although I don’t consider myself in the thrall of the magnetic pull the franchise has on movie fanboys, there’s no denying that the original Star Wars is a work of mad creative genius.

However, George Lucas the director is far less sure of himself than George Lucas the showman. He very publicly couldn’t give a crap about the people onscreen, but the light saber battle that caps off the second act of this film is a bit stilted, edited in a shapeless jumble. The only things that carry that nigh-on incomprehensible scene are the stellar effects and the sound design. It’s Star Wars in a microcosm, riddled with filmic flaws but compensated for mightily by pure movie magic.

TL;DR: Star Wars is a masterpiece of special effects spectacle that earns its incredibly high place in the cinematic pantheon.

Rating: 8/10

Word Count: 1327

Reviews In This Series

Star Wars (Lucas, 1977)

Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (Kershner, 1980)

Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (Marquand, 1983)

Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (Abrams, 2015)
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (Edwards, 2016)
Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (Johnson, 2017)
Solo: A Star Wars Story (Howard, 2018)